To Be Determined.: Crampy Caroline.

Sunday, January 8

Crampy Caroline.

Putting hot chocolate in your pants with a Ferrero Rocher in your mouth apparently helps relieve cramps.

"What?"

1 comments:

Suzanne FeinsteinJan 16, 2012 09:44 PM
You can never be too close to chocolate.
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About Me

I Katie, having been born of goodly parents....
Just kidding. I’m 20 and I just graduated from Brigham Young University with a Bachelor's Degree in Health Science in April 2011. I just moved back to Provo and got engaged to the man of my dreams! I'm looking for a job and am going crazy planning my wedding. I can't wait to be married to the Matt and have lots of babies.
The road to where I am today has not been an easy one at all. I am very grateful for all of the hard things I have had to go through though, because they have made me better. I’m trying my best to make sure that I am doing everything I can so that when all is said and done, I can be proud of the person I have become.

Quotes (1,521)

Katie: I'm not your Momma
Matt: Yes you are!

I looked like I'd been breastfed by Godzilla. -Dad

Licking before marriage is okay. -Matt

Katie: Goodnight Doll
Matthew: Goodnight Action Figure

Katie: Okay, pretend I'm a robot and have no feelings. What do you want?
Matt: I want Katie back.

Katie: Matt, what would you do if a black widow spider crawled out of my belly button?
Matt: I would kill it. Next question.

My favorite nut... is you. My second favorite nuts is honey roasted peanuts. -Matt

If you cry in wookie, you don't deserve a girlfriend. -Nathanael

I just want a boy so I can we can hold hands and I can smell him. *Like This*. Mmmm... green bean casserole. -Caroline

The rolls have no salt in them! That is immoral. -Mom

Katie: Matt, Please! We are in primary. What kind of example to the children is that?
Matt: Oh yeah, a relationship built out of caring and love... you're right.

I was just thinking about how gross it would be to grow a neckbeard. I'm gonna grow one. -Matt

Well, you ARE more 3D than other girls. -Matt

Can you not be you right now? I can't take it. -Matt

Katie: Matt! You are digging a hole right now.
Matt: For the two of us.

I got Carpal Tunnel from picking my nose. -Søren

"No matter how bad I feel about not having self control, these cookies make me happy. -Mum

You do this thing... when other people see, they are like "that's cute"... but it PISSES ME OFF. -Caroline

It's not funny... and you're an idiot. -Mom

Katie: If I was weird you would tell me, right?
Melissa: We wouldn't be friends. You would know.

I wanted to do something physical but you weren't there so... -Matt

Oh kitty! I like you the best. -Melissa

Just because I called you ugly doesn't mean you have to get all mad! -Caroline

I dress like this to make people think I'm a tool. But I'm not. But I am. -John

I'm pretty sure you didn't watch the movie.
I'm pretty sure that all you saw were his eyes.
And maybe your nose.
-Søren

Katie: I think my iPod got stolen... I've looked everywhere and I can't find it.
Caroline: Yeah, I just wish that someone would leave a note saying "I STOLE IT" so that I could know to just give up on looking.

We'll register at Bed Bath and Beyond, Ikea, and God-willing Cabelas. -Matt

Caroline: Mom, can I have these clorox wipes?
Mom: Why? are you gonna sniff 'em?

Mom: Our job is to teach him.
Caroline: Our job is to torture him.

Well, she's cute enough to be nice to. -Charlie

Søren: Mom's gift of the spirit is PMS.
Mom: Gee, thanks!
Caroline: Yeah Mom! Not everyone can turn into a fire breathing dragon at will!

Thank you, God of the carpool lane. -Mom

I like you most when you're happy. -Matt

My goal this summer was to swim across the pool. Instead I spent all summer looking for a swimsuit. -Risa

There are two things I'll never eat. The first is dog. The second is human. -Caroline

You can bury me anywhere you want. You can put me in the refrigerator for all I care, as long as I'm next to you, and next to the fudge-pops. -Mum

If you see me wearing orange, WATCH OUT. I'm on the prowl. -Emily

You're sitting on the wrong side for my dimple. -Matt

These crackers taste like bucket. -Whit

We're touching. -Whit

Monday is July fourth. AKA the fourth of July -Aubrey

Why was I cursed with such beautiful daughters? Other people don't know what I do through. -Mom

Caroline: You aren't fat! No one here thinks that. Stop raggin' on yourself!
Kate: Thanks! Can I pop that zit on your face?
C: Actually, you are fat.

Mom: You're going to be killed in Africa!
Katie: Mom! I'm not stupid.
Mom: Yes you are! That's why I'm worried.

I'm not getting any closer to your tongue. -Trey

This little piggy is under all that pressure, he should be dead by now! -Charlie

Eat and be eaten -Risa

You are your own pet peeve -Matt

Katie: Dirty little trollop.
Ris: I know! We need to learn her moves.

Katie: I haven't worn a bra all day!
Søren: I haven't either! And neither did my French teacher.

If everyone dressed like me... we'd live in Europe. -Charles

Katie: I am done with school!
Caroline: I only have 1 more year of school!
Søren: I only have 3 more years of school!
Daddy: I only have 17 more years of work!

Are you blushing, or is that just your regular face tint? -Melanie

K: I have a scar on my chin.
C: I do too.
K: Well, you have stubble which covers it up...
C: My scar is covered for the same reasons yours is.
K: I DON'T HAVE STUBBLE!

Your mind is so open, your brain is falling out. -Mum

Ashley: He said "Do you want to come over and talk about it?" That sounds like an invitation.
Katie: I'm pretty sure that is an invitation.

Cor: I bet I could fit my bum into your bra.
Dane: Well your bum isn't even that big.

I decided I was never going to eat again, but then I got hungry. -Caroline

I am grateful for drugs, hot plates, and nuts. -Mary

If you become an OMGYN I will come to you. -Risa

If you turned around right now you would be scarred for life. -Mary

Katie: (Sneezes) I think part of my brain just came out of my nose.
Risa: Give it to me, I need it.

I would have been crushed like a freaking egg McMuffin. -Matt.

Was she covered in chocolate? I mean chalk! -Ashley

Okay, we can either talk about boobs, or we can watch a crappy movie. -Trey

I had the WORST DREAM. I dreamed I was camping. -Risa

Come onnnn cute blog. COME ON CUTE BLOG. COME ON CUTE BLOG!!! Oh! Baby in a tub. I win. -Charles

It's times like these, that it gets hard to even keep your shirt on. -Risa

Why don't you go eat a lead pipe filled with natural gas? -Ashley

Dad: What is Søren doing?
Mom: He's lighting matches with his shirt honey, I gave him permission.

Ashley: I want to make chicken saute, but I only have one chicken breast.
Katie: I have chicken breasts.
Dana: I have breasts.

Did you know, that before a woman has a heart attack she feels doomed? -Risa

Do you know what I hate? When people put like... three olives on your pizza. I'm like, "Did I say olives? Or olive?" -Mary

Do you like lots of sauce? I'm a saucy girl. -Mary

It's nice to have a younger girl around you, because then you can get some lip action. -Dana

THERE YOU GO! YOU ROTTEN TROUT SNIFFER. -Mary

Stop raising the roof and do your homework. -Emily

I was nearly decapitated if you were wondering. -Emily

Katie: I'm all about the nips.
Ashley: Me too.

Mr. Tumnus is the hottest half breed I have ever seen. -Ashley

Katie: Was it like Seattle ghetto?
Dana: It was about the same amount of ghettoness.

KATIE!!! THOSE SHEEP ARE CUTE!! CAN WE JUST KILL IT PLEASE? I WANT TO CRUSH IT! -Mary

Katie: My sister is so pretty I want to kick her in the face!!
Ashley: Well you are the smart one!

It's a urinary bladder. Okay, I'm safe. -Mary

It's because you are so skinny, but your round parts are not. -Ashley

I just came in here and you were pregnant -Dana

Adam: Well you should be confident.
Katie: Well I try to be modest too!
Adam: Well you can't be both, so pick confident.

Cake, Cake, you are such a snake. You make me sick with your nasty words. I hope your eyes get picked out by a thousand birds. I'll send you poisoned kool-aid. to soothe the pain you made. In my darling Katie. Who is such a lady! You were so mad because of her blogging. You just wanted her to keep on snogging. Which is so dumb because you never talked! You just read her emails and her life, you stalked! -Ashley Christine

Charlie: Anyone can dress well.Katie: I can't!Charlie: Yes you can! I don't know why you choose not to...
We're not stupid! We're Mormon. -Charles

She is absolutely not a dud! She just... okay, she's totally a dud. -Charlie

Sometimes mothers have to do things they don't want to do... like love their children. -Ashley

If I died in the canyon, I would look down at the most beautiful place in the world and say "DANG, THAT'S WHERE I DIED! YEAH!" -Madison

What are you doing for the next... eternity? -Matt

Katie: Risa, are you a closet thug?
Risa: Does that mean that I steal clothes?

Dance boy lives at there. -Becka

Caroline: What are you eating?
Katie: Yogurt with Bluebs
Caroline: YOGURT WITH BOOBS?
Katie: No! Blueberries!
Caroline: Darnit. Now I want yogurt with boobs.

Caroline: Mom! We caught you on tape walking off with the See's Chocolate!!
Mom: Um... I wasn't walking! I was sneaking, stupid.

Becka: Trail size?!?
Katie: trial size!!!

Can you lock the door? I don't feel safe. I can't poop if I don't feel safe. -Caroline

Dana: Well Hell is in the bible!
Ashley: So is sodomy!

Dana: If squaw peak were a waterfall, it would be called squaw leak.

Do you want to know the only thing I hate about Christmas? Getting my picture taken with Santa.
-Carter, age 5

What's wrong with me? I wanna eat you! -Matt

Katie: He's Cute.
Ashley: Yeah, way.
Dana: He is?

I wish I was a Kangaroo rat so I can drink salt water. -Risa

I have a jug of blood. -Adam

I feel like you wouldn't be that connected to your baby if it was born in a cow. -Risa

Kiss me. My name's patches. -Travis

"I got a foot Massage"
"OH MY GOSH STOP TALKING ABOUT SEX!" –Trey

My legs are so hairy. I think I'll be myself for Halloween. -Caroline

You know how people lift weights? Well I just lift all of them at once. Impressive. -Caroline

I don't like my breasts marinated. -Mom

If anyone wants to save the world, I'll be in here practicing. -Adam

Katie: I just deleted my homework before turning it in!!!
Dana: that's okay, i deleted my life.

You know how much Mom hates it when we get on the phone when she's mad! She thinks we're conspiring against her. Like we are right now. -Caroline

Well, apparently my VJJ smells like Mexican food. –Ashley

Wanna play crazy pigs? It's a puzzle. It has nine pieces. -Tara

Mary: Are they having sex?
Katie: SHE'S THROWING UP.

Thomas: Aaron looked like a dinosaur
Adam: I don't understand how you can look like a dragon turtle.

Okay all you rapers/murders. Come and get me! -Mom

I'm putting on the break up pants. -Morgan

Yeah well, I love myself and I hate myself. -Morgan

Greg: What kind of frosting is this?
Hannah: The tickley kind! It tickles my mouth!

I'm going to my dying hole. -Morgan

I come from a long line of women who do not tolerate being told what to do. -Morgan

Adam: Sherene! You don't appreciate anything I do!
Sherene: I'm trying!

I wish boys smelled like oranges, or fresh cut grass. -Morgan

I want to get some and keep some. - Hannah

Ashley: If I could get a tattoo, it would be a vintage mermaid.
Katie: I would get a sparrow.
Tara: I would get puppies!

If it's a dirty joke, I have a right to know. -Ashley

I just want some ham on my hammock. -Tara

This lamp... also looks like a cool little hat! –Dana

I wouldn't mind being defiled. -Risa

I really want conference to guest star sesame street! -Thomas

Let's go up the canyon, listen to something scary, and then we'll be so scared we will have to go to ihop!!! -Dana

Whatever! Grenades are ineffective against zombies!!! -Jake

Ashley: Were you the oldest?
Katie: I was...
Dana: Until my older brother was born.

Just because I am home alone on a Saturday night doesn't mean I want to spend time with my family!!! -Caroline

We are going to have a gelatta babies. -Charles

Teenagers are immune, immortal, infertile, and invinsible. -Karen

Student: You hate me!
Dr. Shores: I do? Are you in my class? Who are you?

Not forgiving someone is like drinking poison and expecting them to die. -Elenor

Katie: Please get your foot out of my crotch.
Caroline: I thought it would make you feel better.

That's not RMYL! That' S-E-X!!! -Charles

I didn't mean to fall asleep on top of you last night. I MEAN! I didn't mean to fall asleep talking to you last night. -Jake

I just licked my pant leg on accident. -Melissa

Katie: We talked about deep stuff, and not so deep stuff.
Mom: So like a deep ocean, or a shallow puddle?

DEVIN! Why don't you explain with your mathematics why her face is so white? HMMM??? -Jenna

Don't do bad stuff without me! -Melissa

Ixnay on the incestay! -Daddy

You. Me. Tub. Thump. -John

Don't look at me in that tone of voice! -Daddy

If Daddy build a house by himself, it would be a church.
If you (Mom) build a house together, it would be a temple.
And if you built it alone... it would be a barn. -Caroline

CAN I STRANGLE YOU FOR A MINUTE? I NEED TO STRANGLE SOMETHING! -Mary

Where do my shorts end and yours begin? -Jake

Men just love bodies. Especially naked bodies. -Stacy

Stacy: Do I sound like a bird?
Matthew: No.
Stacy: YES I DO!

Do you have the hiccups, or are you just being an idiot? -Søren

A little porn, a little scripture, it's a good mix. -Mom

Mary: THAT'S PRETTY! LOOK! THE LAKE! THE LAKE!
Stacy: Mary, there are 10,000 lakes here.

Just because you don't like someone, doesn't mean you can't go fishin' with 'em! -Brother Elverud

Gunnar: Are there any cute girls in Seattle?
Søren: Yeah.
Gunnar: Are you getting some?
Søren: Not 'till I'm 16!

I'm hip! I've got bigger hips than all of you! -Mom

Katie: How many mothers do you have?
Søren: 6.5, and you count as 3.

What are you making the headbands out of? Molten Lava? -Jake

Søren! You are so annoying! Do you need to go eat a bug or something? -Mom

Mom: Clean up your dishes and do 5 extra things.
Caroline: How about 4.
JK! I'll do 6!

Katie: Mom, we are on our way home from the hike.
Mom: What!? You just bought umbrella hats? WHERE ARE YOU? MEXICO? GET HOME RIGHT NOW!

If he ever tried to fight someone, he would die. -Madison

Jake: Can you drop your top?
Katie: Excuse me?!
Jake: I was talking about Super Mario!

Caroline: Daddy, lift me like a princess!
Daddy: Am I the princess or are you?

Is it like... 3 different birth control pills, or 3 different ways to block the gates to the castle? -TNastyy

I was hoping Madison meant "Beautiful Mermaid Of The Ocean..." -Madison

I hope I'm never a mean old geyser. -Mary

I think I'm a man. -Morgan

What is it called when girls do intense roller blading and start hitting eachother? -Charles

I have good work ethic! -Charles

I'm going to my dying hole. -Morgan

Katie: Promise me that when we get married you will never ever look at me.
Adam:Deal...
But until then...

Woah, when you blow your nose it looks awesome. -Greg

Bethany: He may have an amazing voice, but there are things you can do that he can't!
Katie: Yeah! I can... have a period... so there.
Bethany: That's right! And no one can have a period like you can!

Would you like a spoon, or a potato peeler? -Greg

We had a little boy. Let's call him Jeff... because well, that's his name. -Brother Johnson

Katie: "Do you not remember anything about spending all night in the hotel room last weekend?"
Adam : "Yes, we were laying on the bed all night until you made me go get your wrap!"

"When I look at your story, I see the story of triumph. Never doubt for a second that you are extraordinary and magnificent." -Heather

"I'm not insinuating anything... but I totally would love to be his wife." -Erika

"She doesn't drink, she doesn't pet... she hasn't been to college yet" -Dr. Birrell
We don't have to call it a night yet! I just got my party hat on! -Stephanie

Is anyone but my concerned that IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD? -Erika

Wearing bras gives you breast cancer -Patti

Don't stay in bed unless you can make money in bed. -Rosalita

Oh I just hate farmville. You have to have no life to play that. Plus those stupid notifications.... -Mom

I want a life, and I'm going to kill Josh. -Keli

Grandfather: She broke her femur, but she's really going down hill. She can't hear at all! I talked to her for 17 minutes and I didn't understand a word she said.
Mom: I think that you are deaf, not her!
Grandfather: WELL! If that's how you want to look at it.

I'm getting the spring lovin' already, and it's JANUARY! -Mary

You can't control what's in your dreams, so KEEP DREAMIN' THEM BABY! -Mary

It was kind of Satanic, but I still liked it. -Meg

Do you know the craziest thing? The kids that never went to college... are FREAKS. -Austin

Katie: I'm afraid after having my first child I won't want to do it again.
Adam: It's easier your second time, trust me.

One really loud Dominican woman that is probably distantly related to Satan was yelling and trying to get everyone riled up. -Elder Collier

"On another note, it sounds like you had quite the new years party. I bet mine was even more intense, I went to bed at 10:30 just like every other night and woke up at 6 just like every other morning and in my Spanish notes that morning I wrote 1/1/2010. It was pretty exciting. " -Elder Walsh.

Katie: My Dad told me that you two were dating!
Melissa: We are?

You can plunder my dungeon any time you like. -17 Again

You are getting into your sleeping position. Sit back up. -Adam

I don't know what it is, but Katie! The guys here, especially the maintenance and cleaning and driving guys... I'm like, "I need my room cleaned. Thoroughly." -Erika

Okay, I don't want to feel someones lump! -Mary

Provo is so innocent, and you come back to Seattle where there is a latte in one hand and a lesbian lover in the other. -Dad

Deadlines. I love deadlines. I love the sound they make as they go wooshing past. -Julia

Mary: ...but he was a player...
Katie: Yes, yes he was.
Mary: And I KNEW it! But I still did it anyway.

He thinks THAT is the hottest picture of him? I'll show you the hottest picture of him. -Mary

If food were pornography, this would be porno for sure. -Mom

Hi, welcome to Wyview, where we talk about nipple location. -Scott

Katie: Oh I just want to punch him in the face!
Daddy: Yep, she's definitely in love.

Aww! He just wants to incubate your children! -Meriah

Your heart is the size of a micro SD card -Daniel

Jerry: Hello?
Katie: Hello?
Jerry: Do you notice anything different in my voice? It's confidence, from the lord. Because I just prayed, and I have a burning in my bosom, that you should go out with me.

We should watch the Tracy video... just for good luck! -Mary

Do you know what the Karma Sutra is?
Isn't that something in your throat? -Mary

Don't you just love taking your bra off at the end of the day?
Yes, I love taking your bra off at the end of the day. -Anonymous.

We'd have a picnic in a field, and then we'd do it all day long. -Anonymous

Stacy, I just don't want to go over it again! -Mary (in her sleep)

Dr Judd: What happens to the bird who flies into the poppy field?
He eats the seeds and then goes "wow, man".

Katie: Adam, why can't you be a girl?
Adam: i wouldn't be able to handle PMS and rape and stuff... mostly PMS.

The Lord would not show you gold, and then give you silver. -Meriah

Sometimes I feel like he's more smarter than me. -Mary

I'm going to marry a black man rapper. They sing about sex all the time, yeah, but... at least they keep it real. -Dana

Okay, don't talk to me, I won't talk to you, there. -Mary

Dr Judd: You share 70% of the same genes as a fruit fly.
Taylor: SO DO YOU!

KATIE DID YOU SEE THAT? I don't want you seeing my goods. -Mary

I wish I had some skills so I could get some mean job, and I can live alone forever. -Dana

Quit messing with the cheese and listen to great grandma! -Becca

I know I didn't sleep, because I didn't drool. -Mary

Are you two going to fight?
Cause if you are, I want front row seats. -Becky

Let's go back to the caveman days where when you wanted a girl, you hit her over the head with a rock and dragged her back to your cave. -Taylor

I just want to strangle it, it's so cute! -Mary

Katie: He's a really bad boy, and I shouldn't get involved with him.
Becka: Everybody needs to get involved with a bad boy.

I would never go to the Nile. There are so many hippopotamuses out there! -Mary

Don't cry because roses have thorns. Be happy because thorns have roses.

I'M STARTING OUT WITH A HYPER CUBE!?!??! THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE. -Jennifer.

Daniel: Wakey wakey, eggs are baking!
Jennifer: No they aren't Daniel! Leave us alone!

Boy: I'm getting married soon
Girl: When?
Boy: As soon as I find a girl.

Let's name two traits that come from genes... let's say eye color and um... teeth color... -Taylor

I touched her stomach, I thought it was Swedish Fish! -Mary

Mitch: Do you know quickstep?
Tessa: Yes.
Mitch: Is that a no?

I wouldn't mind going to hell as long as I could spend my time throwing coal on the fire of those wicked stinky people. -Mom

GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER YOU DUMB TRACTOR DUDE! -Sister Walsh

Those boys... I don't know what it is, but they melt me like a box of crayons under the sun. -Mary

Søren: What's your name again?
Stacy: There is a song about my mom....

I got to an age where I wanted cooties. I would look at a girl and be like, "Daaaang I want some of them cooties." -Taylor

I dont know what it is, but Katie, I really hate you today. -Mary

It was sick. I felt something crawling, and I dropped my trowsers and behold it was there -Mary

Dr: Judd
This is a phosphoglycerate, but you don't have to memorize that.
Guy behind me: I already forgot it.

I spend my Tampon money on chocolate! -Meriah

Officer Andrus: Do you want to hold the head, or hold the jugs?
Officer Nelson: I'll hold the jugs.

KATIE! I'M GOING TO KISS YOU UNTIL YOU DIE. -Mary

Books that start with the letter H:
Katie: Habakkuk
Caroline: Harry Potter
Mom: Hawaii
Søren: English to Spanish Handbook

If polygamy isn't back after my mission, I'm going to become a general authority and bring it back.
I'll be up at the pulpit, and announce it and balloons and confetti will come down, and girls in bikini's will start walking down the isles. 2 years... -Steven

That's grosser than gum. -Steven

You can't call it rape if it's in reverse. That just called getting lucky. -Steven

I AM ANGRY ABOUT THE GLORY OF MOAB. -Mary (In her sleep)

Quick! Get that little girl a potty! -Daniel

Think about it. ... but not too much. -Steven

Oh yum! I LOVE HAZEL NUTS! I forgot about that kind of nut! -Mary

They would say, "Why do all your pictures have charlie brown in them?" and I'd be like "Thats me! :(" -Jacob

You can always brush your teeth again. It's a free country. -Mary

Don't feel guilty for sucking! -Adam

Do you know what? Your body looks like hot marmalade on bread! -Mary

Iste! I HATE THAT ONE. -Mary

I'm Mary... Not Married! -Mary

I would marry it, but it doesn't have a brain. -Mary

Katie: Never make out with a boy in a car. Ever.
Mary: What if you have seat belts on?

Well at least I don't have a potty mouth and I don't have my body part hanging out the window! -Mary

I'm going to shoot you with a bullet... and not a magic bullet. -Mary

I'm sure you have heard of a pick pocket, right?
But have you ever heard of a pick sock-it? -Grandfather.

He's a player, but I enjoyed every second of it. -Mary

Katie: I miss Allen.
Scott: Me too, I just want to hold him.

Man, if that's rape, you rape me so much! -Mary

I'm sorry, I'm from Idaho, I stop at red lights. -Andrew

Katie, I'm your brand of heroine. -Mary

What are you doing Jaimie? WE AREN'T IN EUROPE! -Dana

Katie: Never, EVER kiss in a car. All it brings is trouble.
Mary: Well, I did try it once, and things got a little crazy. We were on the floor before I could say hell-o.

Let's watch a mov on the comp on the cou. -Stacy

It's not that I don't shower, but one time I found a pincher bug in my underwear. -Mary

Kinzie: John, Allen telepathically told me to tell you to shut up.
Adam: Me too.
Zac: Same Here.

I make friends by saying "hey, how much?" -Jaimie

We're definitely not in Kansas anymore.
We're in Provo. -Erika

Studies show that if every person who fell asleep during conference layed end to end, they would be more comfortable. -Brother Cowan.

Katie: I am also going to donate eggs to survive here in college.Daniel: Don't you have to be a chicken to do that?

That is why I have to set boundaries.
Because I will conquer all lips. -Mary

Your stomach feels good.
Like a trampoline. -Mary

Just for that I am going to write angry words on your arm. Like... Dinosaur. -Neil

“Testimony isn’t something you have today, and you are going to have always. A testimony is fragile. It is as hard to hold as a moonbeam. It is something you have to recapture every day of your life."-President Spencer W. Kimball

“One of the most important things you can do . . . is to immerse yourself in the scriptures. Search them diligently. Feast upon the words of Christ. Learn the doctrine. Master the principles that are found therein. There are few other efforts that will bring greater dividends . . . There are few ways to gain greater inspiration. When individual members and families immerse themselves in the scriptures regularly and consistently . . . testimonies will increase, commitment will be strengthened, families will be fortified, personal revelation will flow. . . . studying the scriptures is not a burden laid upon [the saints] by the Lord but a marvelous blessing and opportunity." -Pres. Spencer W. Kimball

He didn't use a word I would have used... then again... he wasn't in the Navy like I was... -Thomas S. Monson

Okay, let's do it really quick, then repent. -Daddy

Søren: 9 military parade!
Dad: What is that, an address?
Mom: It says a military parade, the tail was kinda long on that.
but Søren!

Katie: WHY DON'T YOU LISTEN TO ME?
Steven: Because you told me not to run the red light, and I wanted to.

That smells like it should go in the bathroom, not your mouth. -Erika

You know, if you smell urine, you can't eat those nuts you find on the ground. -Mary

And THAT is how you do it Ladies! First you slap 'em, then you kiss 'em. -Mary

He's the kind of guy that would say "wanna make out?" and you would just be like "yes, take me". -Madi

HEY! YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE TO BE MEAN TO ME! I'VE HAD TO THINK ALL DAY! -Shea Shea

I'm a pretty dirty person sometimes -Allen

Grandfather: Well how come she could hear you down there and I couldn't hear you up here?
Grandma: BECAUSE HE'S NOT DEAF!

Jenna: I miss your face!
Shea: I miss your bum!

Grandma: Jeff fixed the closet!
Grandfather: Well how then did he do that?
Grandma: With his BRAIN!
Grandfather: Oh.

Do you want a star sticker? I have a star sticker. Jane has a star sticker. Here is your star sticker. -Jenna

I AM nice to her, but I totally laugh at her! She brought a bird in a bag, and her horse wears a diaper, and she has a shirt that says 'Real Women Fly Fish!' -Dana

I went down the pole... -Allen

Katie: Where?
Becky: You can't see it, because you are in a cage.

Katie: You know what? If you lose, I'm gonna think you suck.
Steven: You know what? That's rude.

Becka: Melissa, My life isn't complete without you.
Melissa: My life isn't complete without me either.

Katie: YOUR OLD!
Melissa: Same age as you, duck.

Katie: Seriously, slather me with butter and melt me on the floor.
Melissa: Go get the butter Becka.

You can't have a rainbow without the rain. -Mum

Look, I've been evolving for about a year now, so you can either jump on this wagon, or go home. -Colton

Perfection is like trying to achieve exaltation without Christ. -Claudia

Wow. This line is like the Jews coming out of Egypt. -Colton

Katie: Hey, I fake that I like people all the time.
Erika: That's called lying.

Can we just go like this? I like feeling sexy and boy do I look it. -Erika

I just took a swig of that drink and it ain't good.
Now i'm going to go gouge my eyes out with a spoon. -Matt

Honor your mother and father, lest they will kill you. That's what Jesus said. -Mom

Oh crap, bugs are getting stuck in my sweat. -Becka

Got dandruff, some of it itches -Daniel.

katie: shannon! how many dresses are you going to put on today?
shannon: 'bout 6

I've been flying so much lately that when i sat down to watch Harry Potter I tried to put my seatbelt on. -caroline

Sometimes I kick the chickens on purpose. -Lara

Katie: That's where I got my hair done for prom!
Joey: At stupid prices?

I can't walk and chew gum at the same time! -Tiffany

Can I have a power aid before I get sacrificed?-Joey

Melissa: Did you know the color red instantly makes you hotter?
Katie: Yeah right!
Melissa: hello. 17 magazine! It has to be true!

Okay, the dogs can't be THAT smart! They are hammering outside.-Melissa

I'm not going into 8th grade. Just like puberty. I'm skipping it.-Søren

I know he's out here. I can feel it in my nuggets -chicken

Beneath these clothes... Is a man, and beneath that man... Is his nucleus. -nacho

Meg: please!?
Katie: no.
Meg: come on! I'll give you my sexy faaaaaace!!!

DONT YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT IS GOING TO EFFECT MY HIGHSCHOOL CAREER AND MY BOWEL MOVEMENTS?

Søren:Wanna go swimming?
No.
Søren:Wanna go skinny dipping?
No.
Søren:Wanna go kayaking?
No.
Søren:Wanna go in a raft?
No.
Søren:Wanna push me in a lake?
YES.

Katie: WHY IS YOUR FACE SO RED?
Søren: I just ran up and down the HILL CUMORAH DUDE.

Just because I have big dreams doesn't mean you can make fun of me! -Melissa

Adam: What's that rolling across the road?
Katie: Thats a car Adam.
First comes love, then comes the baby... -Melissa

Lara: William is #1 in my life.
William: Well you are like #5 in my life, but thanks!

You guys would want to climb the mountain and shoot deer, and I would say NO! And you would say "JUST COME SHOOT DEER WITH ME!" -Caroline

I like puke sandwiches! -Søren

Katie: I just wanna take his toothpick and break it.
Adam: and then I will take a video on his phone of him crying!

Moral of the story: if you don't wanna get burnt, do buy da-sheiky. -Pimp masta.

Okay BYE attitude! -Sarah

Sorry, I was burping the pledge of allegience. -Søren

Erika: You guys have WAY better bodies than me! Shut up!
Mary: We are still growing and you are in full bloom!

Melissa: Do you remember when I slammed your head into the cement and ran over you with my car?
Austin: No.
Melissa: Well do you WANT to remember it?

Smog... Isnt that pokemon? -Headphone Kid

I want to go in there when I feel sexy.
Not like I just ran a mile and my hair looks good. -Jennise

Thats not stealing! Thats called murder! -Karey

I feel like I'm going through time! -Logan

Is it about pregnancy? "Like an angel passing through my womb?" -Melissa

Katie: THERE IS SOMETHING IN MY NOSE!
Melissa: I see it! It has eight legs!

Don't eat dented cans.
Or what is inside them. -Adam

Sometimes I run and wonder "why do i feel so bloated and fat today?" and then I poop and i'm like "oh". -Caroline.

Katie: Did I shoot you?
Adam: No I pulled a Matrix dodge
Katie: oh. dang. well there's a sheild that's deflecting the bullet back at you.
Adam: hm. too bad I have an invisible shield so it's deflecting back!
Katie: Oh well. That one's Melissa.

Stegall: strange fits of passion have i known.
Adam: Sounds like PMS

Everyone looks like me in heaven -Adam

be careful of ricky. ricky the racoon. -Pimppp

My neck hurts when I look at you. -Carla

Mitch: I'm freaking tall
Melissa: Are you making fun of how short I am?
Mitch: No! I'm making fun of how tall I am.

STDs are on the rise. YA HURD. Das a fact. -PIMP.

Katie: What is on your pants? Adam: I worked yesterday, and I have to work today, and it doesn't make sense to wash to pair of pants. So its chocolate. I think.

Adam: hehehe
Katie: WHAT?
Adam: We're watching corn.

Neked Chikkens give you Sal-mon-ella -Pimp

if you live on a flood plane you WILL get flooded. -carla

no babe, i'm not making faces at you, so PUT THAT THING BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM. -caroline

Katie: whos that?
Adam: Jamison
Katie: Well tell him to shut up!
Adam: I can't! He's inactive!

My momma always said, 'Go get you a nice turkeeee leg drumstick and you be aight. -Pimp

either shake my hand that you will go to the movie with me or i won't smack my head on your knee. -mitch

do drugs, but don't do wikipedia. -Stegall

I told my mom if my man doesn't like rice, he is not my man. It's like the temple. This will not be compromised. -Erika

Its a beautiful day. Perfect for a corndog. -Adam

you a NASTY girl
NASTY NASY!
youuuu naaaaaaaaaaaastyyyy. -Pimp

HELP ME BISHOP! HELP ME! SAVE ME! -Adrian

You're not an idiot, your a PYRO. -Lacey

i do like you... but a man needs his fuel. -mitch

Russians: vee are zee best and vee vill vin!
Lynne: ooook! Lets go get a burger.

Allen: hahahah
Katie: why are you laughing?
Allen: The stream is cutting through its own deposits!

i might be small, but i can be dangerous. -melissa

Katie: don't touch my bag.
Allen: I'm petting it.
Katie: Well don't pet it!>BR? Allen: It's better then petting you Katie!

i'm more heartless than judge judy. -Stegall

Katie: Why arent you naked!?!
Melissa: Because I have clothes on.

it didnt hurt. it just... ow... -caroline

molly: nice outfit!
pimp daddy: its southern baby. SUTHIRN.
i told you i've got a goose egg!

caroline: my body is shutting down
katie: goodbye

brady: what does that scripture mean?
cole: you were talking too quiet for me to hear
brady: carson?
carson: i could hear you, but i didn't listen.

so you can put yo cast on a skillet right? KA TONG. -pimp masta

katie: what is he dead?
erika: no, but he's dead to me.

i dont care what you want.
actually, it's your birthday. you can do whatever you want. -logan

correction
i stand corrected
it just tripped me out

mom: i was gonna take a little nap
katie: take a LONG nap. in fact, just sleep until the cows come home.
mom: you are already home. that's why i can't sleep.

WHERES THE BEEF? -Pimpity Pimp Pimp

this is not a date
this isn't a date
this isn't a pity date either -sister vashon

1. i thought you were weird.
2. now i think you are REALLY weird. -erika

sunday dinner: the best week of the year -Søren

its so emotional, i dont know how to feel! -logan

kids, don't do wikipedia. and don't do drugs either. in that order. -sydney

you know what almost rhymes? "tickle my nipple" -adam

i told Søren to get a movie and he said blah blah blah so i said JUST GET AWAY FROM ME YOU STUPID EVIL KID.
just like that. -mom

and so my life is dull. now get your big patooty out of my face! -Søren

he's stuck on nursery rhymes. excuse him. -pimp masta

why wouldnt you blast oprah? -logan

katie: i just broke adam's face
adam: and now he's gonna break me. my name is katiepeeeeee

i don't want to touch the poo.
i don't want to come CLOSE to the poo.
thats why i'm hiding in this corner where there is no poo. -Søren

we have to go. we have to chase hot bods. i mean boys! BOYS. -melissa

mmm... bread... oh wait! thats a liver! i thought it was bread! -adam

don't ever get salad at swedish hospital. its like.. healthy... -melissa

adam: you know how when you drink something upside down it stings the back of your throat?
molly: why are you drinking upside down?
adam: its not like i do it for fun or anything!

i like vaugh. especially when he kills his wife. -melissa

she's seducing him and he's taking off his pants. too bad it's not like that anymore. -stegall

katie: i've decided our book situation is going to be like a divorced couple. You get custody of them.
adam: and you take half of all i own.

adam: it says i have to eat more than i do.
pimp daddy: yeah, cause you scrawny.

isnt that just like you and adam? the hitting and the driving crazy and the throwing stuff? -melissa

i'm just going to close my eyes and pretend i'm on a roller coaster. now step on it woman!! -adam

let's compare cereal.
you have crunchy flakes.
and, um...
soggy flakes. -molly

katie: why do you have a baseball bat?
adam: so i can beat up people that ask me why i have a baseball bat.

WHY DIDN'T I LISTEN TO MY MOTHER!?!? STUPID ADAM. -adam

sorry! i couldnt text fast enough! curse these fat fingers! -adam

pms is not cramps.
pms is like psycho crazy killer women. -adam

oh my. what bloody freaks you all are. -lynne

katie: do i look good like this?
Søren: you look like a proboscus monkey.

lady gaga? who is that? i should be a new rap artist. I'll call my self mister Goo Goo.-adam

Søren: what tribe are you from?
katie: ephraim
Søren: what does that mean?
katie: it means i'm invincible
Søren: really?
katie: no
Søren: dang. i was gonna punch you in the face.

woah. that makes my feet feel weird. -brian

woah.
it started...
and then...
it ended -Søren

you don't belong in this family katie. you are a reject. EXCEPT YOU ARE THE CENTER OF ATTENTION AND WE REVOLVE AROUND YOU. -caroline

can we hit him?
wait no. we aren't in Helga. Dang! I MISS HER. -Søren

STOP. I KNOW CPR. I'M A BOY SCOUT. WAIT, NO! STOP. YOU ARENT SUPPOSED TO BE ATTACKING ME! CALL THE COPS! -Logan

i am humble and righteous and perfect. -caroline

SHUT UP CHUBBY FACE. I HAVE A CHUBBY FACE. -caroline

adam: who's licking me? LOGAN?!?
logan: it was lily! i swear!
adam: who's up my shorts? LOGAN?!?
logan: it was lily! i swear!

i dont like tomatoes in tomato form. -bradon

lori: adam, you're a dork.
adam: thank you!

my bobs are pooping out! -madison

if it were my purse, it would match my shirt.

Katie Christina Pedersen. I just made a hit list and guess what? you are the only one on it. -meg

dont bite my face off! thats not nice! -Søren

Ow! I mean tickle! -adam

byu jams
if you want to be a coug
better step aside
adam lee and katiepee
got in cause they applied

once there was a katie katie katie
she had a friend named adam, tall tall tall
they got into BYU BYU BYU
they got into BYU
for the fall

adam: hey allen! say something funny! allen: nah, i gotta save that for a later day

is that baby food stuff? i tried that once and it was NOT GOOD. -logan

i'm not an air head, i'm just a girl who is stupid. -melissa

adam: someone either took a cup.. melissa: or took a dump

when did 'sir stinks a lot' get so smart? -adam

katie: what is all over your hand?
is it blood???
william: its chocolate.

i hate it when my butt sweats. -logan

oh good. more walking. -adam

now in traditional dances they wouldn't hold eachothers swords, they would... duh duh duh... -stegall

goat boy and llama girl? -adam

you didnt lead him astray! that is so unlike you! -melissa

i need to go buy batteries for my calculator. -allen

adam: why does everyone blame me?
logan: because travis isn't here

katie: don't drink that! it's spoiled milk!
adam: it's chocolate! its okay!

why would a woman want to be called a hamburger?
am i right?
am i right?
-allen

katie: i want food
adam: i want you. what?

i'm sorry, i didnt hear you. james was whispering temptation in my ear. -joey

she just took my heart and ate it. -melissa

there is nothing worse than being ugly in our society. -grammm

be brave little toaster. -adam

CHAT A CHAT A CHAT A CHAT
BOP BOP BOP BOP
AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! -tribe

i like her now. why did we think she was completely evil? she's only a little bit evil. -adam

katie: my prayers aren't working right now...
melissa: why? is that because you are praying for a boyfriend you'll never get?

so basically, i'm a squirrel whisperer -Søren

adam: its like satan and jesus
katie: you're satan.
adam: thats what satan would say...

he's so fun! he kills me with a sword and then brings me back to likfe, just to kill me again! -melissa

what year is this? year of the plankton? -adam

who doesn't love your butt in their face, Katie? -allen

everything
all at once
all the time
-Brent

adam: hey! its me adam, from cold stone!
brian: OH! GREEN LIGHT.

mitch: thats what i wished for at 11:11
katie: no you didn't.
mitch: ASK GOD

you are interrupting me. shut up.
oh sorry. my arm sometimes just spasms like that. -mom

boy i just love sitting on your lap! i could just sit here all day if you didnt stand up. -Søren

LOOK AT THIS BANANA! ITS HUGE! i had to wait to show it to you. the whole bunch was this big! -lara

fannin. my dad took off the G. -melissa

i owe you $200
lets make a deal
you give me $2000, and we call it even
-Søren

you want to make love in a club? -mitch

if you want to REALLY hurt him, kick him where it counts, and then EXPLODE. -logan

look, i have cash in my pants! -mitch

should my butt be feeling like ocean water? -melissa

one of my biggest fears is that i'll wake up and look out the window and Katie will be out side naked cause her house burned down. -adam

LOOK! I FIRE PLACE. should i climb on top of it? -melissa

what if we put this sour pach kid through the pasta maker?
LOOK AT THIS ONE! HE'S HUGE!
i bet if we put it through enough, it would be life size! -logan

he's lucky he married me, cause a lot of other women would have shot him by now. -mom

where is your underwear? are you even wearing any today? -melissa

i'm making friends!
i dont know their names, but i'm making friends! -logan

i have a scar on my lips. can't you see it? come closer... -adam

logan: am i awesome?
madam M: yes
logan: am i great?
madam M: ...
logan: oh.

dear heavenly father. we thank thee for this day. WHY DID I COME TO FREAKING SEMINARY THIS MORNING? -melissa

katie: i thought i was going to get shanked!
mitch: no, he'd prolly only stab you once.

you look like my cat. i like my cat. -adam

first of all, bad guys don't pout. -adam

YOU GOT IT ON THE TITHING. you are going to hell. -logan

AQUI EN EL GHETTO. -adam

OUCH! the love pen hurt me :( -logan

that looks like an old people party, and i want to go. -caroline

what? idk? i just have brown nipples! -mitch

i am very happyful.
its a word in my dictionary! -Maren

you dont get to go to the celestial kingdom for that. -erika

woah. it feels like i'm in a different world...
like... tanning world... -logan

you look like a geisha... but BETTER. -adam

remind me never to be attractive to women again. -adam

i'd have someone do it so i'd still go to heaven -mitch

its the same cheek every time! next time you spank me, remind me to turn the other cheek! -Søren

okay, thats does it man! you insulted my pride! that means death! -tito

don't give it back to her. SELL it back to her. -travis

katie: i play the liver
adam: oh good! i play the sheep brain! we can be a band!

maren: you smell bad
mitch: its chlorine
maren: chlorine only smells good when i swim in it

its not me, its the road! -melissa

we are all born with our own talents, yours are just worthless and unnoticeable. -erika

oh my gosh guys, are you playing footsies under there? LET ME IN ON THIS ACTION! -allen

simon: HOLY ******* HOW MANY ******* TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO GET THIS THROUGH YOUR ******* BRAIN?!?!
hey melissa
melissa: hey simon

katie: take this magic dust in your fist
mitch: and punch you in the stomach with it!

he's a multi millionsare, and i'm smoking on the job every day. well, every tuesday... -Søren

oh shoot. my pants fell down because of my chainsaw -amanda

mitch: your barbie is going to die!
maren: i sold all my barbies! you have to think of a new threat.

jaimie: is it wrong that my crack is haning out and i think its funny that people have to look at it?
amanda: you're cool

water is my new friend! -mitch

boys against girls! but i get to be on the girls team. -nephi

katie: do you know what soy sauce is?
mitch: soy. and... soy

i knew a girl named velveeta. she was smooth like cheese. -dad

katie: do you know what game i like to play with Søren?
mitch: slap and tickle?

are you under a lot of stress of have you always had 6 different heartbeats? -darin

my car looks like an asian man from the front. it looks like adam! -mitch

katie: hey! mock me not!
mitch: mock you YEAH.

how did lily get a kiwi?
thats okay, we'll feed it to caroline
like, here, this one is yours, there is NOTHING WRONG WITH IT! -Søren

katie: are you sleepy?
mitch: i can't remember.

she's a 'gotta have it' size today. -adam

you are a drut. a backwards turd. -mitch

once a month my wife turns evil, and i cannot defeat her. -Søren

i didnt forget
i just didnt remember -william

is that me, or did that just happen? -mitch

Søren:wow. your guys are having hormonal problems today arent you?
i learned about the period mestral cycle last week
katie: you mean menstrual?
Søren: hey, at least i was paying attention. i already knew what PMS was. i learned that when I was two when mad was mad all the time

did you want to fight off the man in the russian hat? -ami

PLUS. MY HAIR, IS NOT, A W!!! -adam

either you are a seinfeld character, or a psychopath -darin

i thought it was a bomb, but then it was your stomach -mitch

katie: melissa is the perfect roomie
Søren: yeah, she is the sugar in my cereal
and [censored] is the orange juice in my toothpaste

actually, that is not true, i laughed at my grandma's funeral -cheesecake fantasy

i think i just made my eye fart. -mitch

katie: i think i just picked your nose adam
adam: and i'm okay with that.

katie, do you want to have a bonding experience?
...
...
...
I MEANT WEDNYS YOU SICKO -mitch

i've been sliced by a schrute buck! -logan

katie: has anyone called me?
mitch: no.
katie: everyone hates me.
mitch: no, everyone's phones are off.

ARE YOU OKAY? DO YOU NEED A BUCKET? -maren

and patrick, he's fat. like you would see him and say WOAH DANG. he's FAT. -mitch

i want to be a naked man! -melinda

my wife does that... but she's just weird. -darin

cause its a secret rondezvous! -allen

BARBIE IN MY BARBEQUE! -melissa

i'm not leaving here until i have veggies that are green and meat that is not! -Søren

Søren, can you hand me an oreo? i want to make it an even 20. -caroline

adam: i was going to say it was pack man
katie: that man is packin'

linda: i met mario on sunday and kissed him on thursday
sister walsh: Yeah, but you're a hussie

and i believe that miley cyrus is jesus -melissa

caroline: was that a bark or a barf?
Søren: that was a toot

OH CUTE! we can be the three muskateers! and then you two can get married and then I can be alone! -Melissa

how much shake can you take? -brother parker

i almost died like 20 times on that road.
i like that road. -adam

wanna take a picture of my burnin' butt? -ami

ugh. i hate when my whole familiy has to talk to me.
all two of them. -adam

i was trying to get her to dance "bye bye bye" with me in the living room, but for some reason she was shy -adam

i'm not laughing at you, i'm laughing for you -mitch

jenna: LOOK! A TWO PERSON HELEMET!
Søren: that is katie's bra

i didnt want to call you hot, cause that would be wierd... -sister lane

its aaa... chickatition! -mitch

katie: you smell like an old lady
mom: yes, but i kiss like a hot boy

gross
yuck
pink
cute
no
-mitch

i'm just going to eat two boxes of sees candies and kill myself

I DIDNT EVEN GET AN INVITED TO THEIR FACEBOOK GROUP. -nikki

we are married six months. lets have a weddin' reception! -jennifer

it HAS to snow! if that means i have to sit on my roof and pour salt down the windows to make you believe it is snowing, i will! -mitch

there is a chicken full of dum dums on that wall looking at me -amanda

oh crap. i'm low on money. i'll sell these pigs. breed children. breeeeeeed. -caroline

katie: these pretzels taste like death
mitch: i like death!

LETS KILL HIM!
we can stop in arizona on the way to oregon. thats on the way, right? -jennifer

if you can learn to be the best person you can be, you will attract the best people, and you will have the best life -colton

mitch: i cant see for beans
did i just say for beans?
sister parker: ohkay, i dont know what that is

i guess not EVERYONE is married. in retrospect.
not that i know what that word means... -jennifer

katie: someday, i'm going to sleep in as long as i want
daddy: they don't make days that long

he doesnt have unlimited texting? he sends me like 20 TEXTS AN HOUR! -jennifer

sorry, i have to shave my scab. -caroline

why should we talk when we can watch TV? -mom

katie: Søren, bring me a peanut butter cup.
Søren: how about cheese in a cup?

OH MY GOSH. I KILLED KATIE. i dont care what melissa says! you are my new favorite. well not really... but... OH MY GOSH I KILLED KATIE. -adam

its called whack a mole. you whack the mole! it doesn't whack you! -Søren

ugh. i don't work well with phlegm. -caroline

we need a white flag! oh here, we'll just use you! -adam

so the moral is, dont barbque in the dark -sister parker

mitch: its pizza that tastes like cardboard!
adam: no! its cardboard that tastes like pizza!

good melissa. have some poop. -adam

i think that the last of your nachos should have to be eaten with a fork, or in private. -colton

my shoe froze to the front porch! -adrain

i'm gonna rabbit hump you if you don't stop -colton

it was just mitch messing around with a zuccini -sister parker

that is SUCH AN ANNOYING NOISE! BUT I CAN't STOP PRESSING IT! -mitch

thats not it, thats mormon stuff -courtney

devin: should we have dessert now, or later?
grandpa: both!

i toot for extra emphasis. -mitch

if i could kill anyone with my mind, it would be you

go in the corner and get-a me-a his-a balls -willy

mitch:i'm gonna get this car
sister parker: yeah, and then you are going to wreck it
mitch: it's only a million!

thats the problem with our house. we're idiots. -jennifer

NOT THE GAP OF ROHAN. -logan

mitch! why did you answer that! not you have to listen to them! -sister parker

its almost christmas time! you can't be bald for christmas!-jennifer

i don't want to be the manager! i'll get a call and they will ask to talk to the manager, and i will say "oh crap! that's me!" -amanda

how many times do i have to get raped before this gets through to your head? -willy

farse. is that like turd? -mitch

i go through life like a karate kid. -B. Spears

daniel: then she gets a pole thrown through her skull.
adrian: i'm so glad that hasnt happened to me!

i throw flesh of my lip at you! -colton

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!??!-stripper girl

adam: how long does it take you to get ready?
katie: you think THIS takes ten minutes
allen: i was thinkin' five.

hey mom, can you get out a peice of paper? i can give you destructions. i mean directions. -william

thats not a blanket. that's katie's pants. -mitch

i can't keep hitting this chicken
i know its dead, but i still feel bad for it! -jennifer

do you want to be on welfare the rest of your life because you got raped once? -colton

DONT PLUCK MY EYEBROWS ON THE ELEVATOR! -mom

its not a zuccini, its a mexican squash. -mitch

adam: it smells like the puyallup fair!
katie: what are you talking about? it smells like waffles!
allen: you guys are nuts. it smells like french fries

i call this one, "poo with flower" -mom

logan: I ROLLED A FIVE! OH A PONY!
jaimie: its a six.
logan: DANG IT!!!!!!

mom:don't forget your blueberry!
katie: its a blackberry
mom: i knew it was some kind of berry

momma walsh: hey daniel, why is your wallet empty?
daniel: i got a new wallet
momma walsh: oh, i thought it was because you are a college student

mercedes: what are the effects of lithium?
manber: well, death is the worst

katie: no more phone for you
melissa: FINE! THEN YOU DON'T GET ANY KISSES

between each of my breaks, i learned how to moon walk -mitch

now it is a child of satan. excuse me. i mean science. -colton

no, when you have a shadow like that on your face, its called a molestache -amanda

party on melissa! -melissa

and besides, if you HAD been using my toothbrush all week, you would be immortal by now. -colton

melissa: okay! want me to cut off my boobies?

if i cant take care of my eyebrows, do you think i can take care of my toe hair? -mitch

first you get it heated up, then pop goes the weasel -adam

are you guys talking about getting raped by a squirrel? -allen

we are having a make out party... i mean MAKE UP PARTY. you know... how girls... the put it on? -melissa

oh crap. we have to learn today. -adam

why spagina? why not pinkgina? -brittany

adam: gorilla hair?
kim: girl hair
adam: same thing

life's too short to dance with ugly men -caroline

hey, sorry, i couldnt unzip my pants fast enough -adam

thats lead daniel! don't eat lead! its a neurotoxin! -jennifer

kim: adam! don't get into a particle accelerator. it will smash you!
adam: i like being smashed.

twilight... i havent seen the girls scream like that since frank sinatra -grandpa

his voice sounded retarted in a very sexy way. -meg

is it true that lasers mess up your blood cycle? -laura

i text her all the time.
WHAT DID I DO WRONG? -steven

and so it turns out, that outer space is huge. -dr. love

i had the NASTIEST underwear -adam

colton: i'm a bad person
katie: what do i do with you?
colton: i could make good firewood.

clean up on isle 5 -adam

has your meteorite been processed? -dr. LOVE

katie: i have learned the right things to say to guys to get them going
melissa: i've learned that i don't have to do anything to get guys going

steven. tell her that when hell freezes over, we'll go ice skating. -steven

bro. walsh: why is the turkey sitting on the floor
sister walsh: because i was too tired to carry it in

seriously caroline, i dont even care about that. i just want your love and affection and CAT TREATS. -meg

do therapists see other therapists? -pizza ice cream kid

why does she hate me?
is it because everytime she comes near me i leave? -steven

when jesus said "love your enemies" i think he probably meant don't kill them -mom

the rules are simple. grab a little person and hurl them as far and fast as you can. -jennifer

where do you thaw a turkey?
in the back of your car. -momma walsh

mitchell, were you born stupid, or were you made that way? -mr. kim

my fiber is chunky -nikki

i hope you choke on your cheese -adam

andrea: i like these
jennifer: you would. you also like chicken flavored lollipops

you are going to make a wonderful cripple when you grow up caroline. -grandpa

i was in that apartment for 2 days, and i heard the word poop 50 times. -jennifer

katie: you killed somebody with a doughnut?
adam: its poison, just like the ones you make

real men don't shave. their hair falls out at night -colton

this turkey is causing alot of problems mom. -jennifer

i only put the ones i love in my armpit -adam

manber: suppose i came in tomorrow wearing... a BIKINI.
adam:snort ACK!
andrea: covers eyes
manber: okay. it might be a little repulsive
adam: THATS AN UNDERSTATEMENT

it was a long time ago and i was little
...maybe it was a nightmare... -jennifer

yin: pound it. pound it. pound it.
yang: i'm eating -adam

it was good, but too rich. i only had 6 peices. -daddy

you are the loudest diaper? -adam

metallic hydrogen is like the exotic dance... AHEM excuse me!!! the most exotic TYPE of hydrogen!!! -dr. LOVE

katie: well you got a D- on the test and I got and F. I trust your word more than mine.
adam: LISTEN TO YOURSELF!

a whopping 300, 458, 459... -love ?

jennifer: has the greater puget sound area been the same without me and daniel?
katie:nope
jennifer: i knew it

katie has a short orbital period -adam

this is like a cosmic rock n' sock 'em robot!!!! -dr. lovey dovey

i don't like sugar covered nuts!
i like honey covered nuts...
i like tobasco covered nuts... -caroline

give me the channel changer. this is bad.
actually, i want to watch it.-meg

i think its just so ironic that they put pee and nuts in the same word -caroline

ITS CRAZY BARB. SHE'S JUST CRAZY!-caroline

if i don't have person A, i always have skank A to go to -brittany

google it okay? GOOGLE THAT CRAP. -brittany

i just want to feel it. i just want to slide it up and down. -mitch

SHE'S THE CAT'S PAJAMAS -brittany

the gang
the belly flop family: julian, jemima, and baby jelly flop
bubba the blob
papa pretzel
grandma grape
spike
captain jack
perry pinecone
smoker girl 1
smoker girl 2
man woman
techs
spagina
honey
patty
crabtree
skylar
big mama
sisters
eyebrows
profe
love
mercedes
molly
louisiana
laffy taffy
brain juice
monk
apples
troll
stripper girl

lily mae no no no if you chew another crayon i'm going to stick it where the sun don't shine girlfraaan. -mom

shorty want a lap dance? -adam

he's really sweet, until he tries to feel you up. -becka

that's not flirting, thats being creepy -melissa

so your on top and i'm on bottom? -adam

okay Søren, its time to put the gas mask away. -daddy

it not only cleans, it turns people into mutants -sabrina

you are looking dry and hot today -adam

katie: are you trying to sniff my armpit?
melissa: i'm trying to see your cell phone but i can't over this giant mountain

your slime fell -lady on the third floor

adam: can i keep it?
katie: this is just typical for us. we find something with booger like properties on the ceiling and you want to keep it as a pet.

you know, we should really invite guys to our girls nights, so that we don't even up like this picking eachothers noses -becka

melissa:oh look at my pretty hair!
katie: its just pretty and hairy
melissa: just like you katie!

help! stop! the mountains are closing in! -adam

did you sat there is a lap to dance? -allen

i'm getting too hott! melissa! take off my sweatshirt! -becka

you know you want it. look at is jiggle and wiggle. -adam

fitness beats fatness -adam

adam! you already got it off before she attacked your mouth -allen

mitchell you naughty boy, you just got spanked -allen

katie: THIS THING BURNED MY BUNS
allen: thats just cause your buns are smoking

dr. love: so if you smack venus really hard, it will turn the other way.
adam: sounds like katie. if you smack her hard, she will turn the other way.

i hate it when people like me. -jaclyn

WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO PANT? -adam

i don't stick things down my bra, does that make me less attractive? -melissa

i'm done with psychology! smell my armpit! -adam

WHAT IS THIS STUCK TO MY NON STICK PAN? -mom

i kept whipping people at recess, and I got in trouble, but I couldn't stop whipping people. -adam

you can't get down like that katie! -nancy

katie: it started out with a cake piece
adam: which then turned into some flax

at least if you go out, you go out with funyuns -adam

spread the head -travis

katie: you smell like old people
mom: you smell like dead people

why can't you be totally hot right now? -melissa

sometimes i can't tell if Søren is my kid, or lily... -mom

you know, for some reason i wouldn't think you needed music to help you pee. -melissa

if we wanted you to die, trust me, you would be dead by now. -mom

so when a stalker creepy comes after you with a chain ax -melissa

daddy: thank you for this beautiful meal robby
mom: its only beautiful because my smiling face is shining in the grease.

becka: so is it a love story dance?
melissa: its a depressing story dance.

i'm probably killing someone, but I can't help it. -manber

what kind of last name is lee if your not even chinese!?!? -melissa

what is the point of being appreciated if no one gets naked? -katherine

like a monk could look this good... -melissa

Her turtleneck has my neurons firing today -adam

it doesn't work unless you are gazing into my eyes too... -melissa

which one??? OH THE MEAT! -becka

yay! we get to cuddle and talk about pregnancy! -melissa

he is the cheese to my macaroni -melissa

Adam: you have the cutest rolls ever
Allen: thanks Adam

quick! date me! -melissa

Katie: I kinda like looking like crap, it makes me feel good
Becka: I kinda hate it. It makes me feel fat

the bigger the triangle... the bigger the hoe -melissa

you fools! -adam and manber

he's the one in idaho, and i'm the one getting all the action! -melissa

katie: mitch, are you in total fitness?
allen: no, he's just a crappy person

what do you have in your hair? i always find he weirdest stuff in your hair? -melissa

they actually interbred the rats with humans... RATMAN -manber

katie: you can't say "you owe me", that gives it away!
melissa: ... i was talking about money!!!

adam: she's crazy
tex: ALL THREE OF YOU ARE.

katie: bye mom and dad!
door: SLAM
melissa: OKAY. lets get naked

anyone want to hazard a guess? -dr. love

your cat and I are making out -melissa

welcome to seminary katie, you are looking particularly gruesome today. -caroline

manber: let's say, you are talking to a class about sex right now...
adam: go freaking figure

sorry you can't see it better. some villian stole my pens. -dr. LOVE

... well then tell adam to rip off his face. -melissa

or are you just becoming hot and dense? -adam

i would.... exept for I DON'T LIKE YOU. -brittany

we saw eachother like, once a month, and we would be like, oh, your still short. -adam

one of the things danes like to do for fun is annoy the catholics. -dr. love

you should see me in seminary, i'm a ball full of ax murderer -melissa

don't take pictures of me! it steals my soul! -sarah

i told you once, huff huff... -brittany

well, i don't know. mabe you are a good fertilizer? -allen

'wait a minute!' you say. -dr. Love

adam: where is travis?
allen: i turned him into a backpack.

i am going to send this to all the people i know
which is like, four people... -bishop bork

COME ON CHICKEN CHOMPER! -bishop bork

adam:if i slug you will you kiss me?
katie:yeah
adam: i'm never touching you again.

oh just cut your wrists and die Søren. -mom

the lights are on katie, how far do you think we'll go?
turn them off. -melissa

oh, i'm sorry, i didn't know i would walk in my room to you standing in front of my mirror looking at your boobs. sorry about that. -melissa

don't pull an austin and rip off your pants. -melissa

katie: i LOVE guys with dark hair
melissa: i love guys with hair

are you trying to get fresh with me? -matt

i ficths peepols mowfs -allen

are you caressing her with a fish? -michelle

you know what katie? GO EAT A PIZZA. -mitch

you always eat my way of transportation! -jaimie

i have my bad days, and then i have my worse days -allen

you are an ice cream bon bon -bradon

katie:do you have a comb?
allen: i don't comb my hair, but i have one in my back pack.
katie: do you really?
allen: heck no

just give it some suck so it looks more real. -nicole

you know, the last time you put your cookie there, it disappeared -allen

i want to sit between you two. i want a double dose. -andrea

i like a man with a moist towlette -adam

katie snuck it in there... remember when I was smashing her against the wall? -allen

katie: i love adam lee with all of my mind, might, and strength -adam

adam: we didn't break it did we?
katie: be careful, there are witnesses
adam: the asian in the back knows
katie: better bribe him
adam: quick, wheres your yen? now BATT YOUR EYELASHES.

kim: who wouldn't want that cute little puppy?
adam: what is that? it looks like a fetus

anyday is a good day when you have a quote from katie! -melissa

your eyes are so pretty. can i rip them off your face? -melissa

katie: are you a proton donor?
adam: do you think i'm a proton donor?
i don't have protons to spare, but i can sure give you some electrolytes...

so this morning i was singing into my comb... -melissa

the crazy lady will be taken away. she'll be happy where she's going. to a happy place. - adam

Søren: PAHAHAHHAHAHAH!!!
katie: what?
Søren: this idiot wants to trade my battle axe for 12 gold!

Søren: nobody's perfect
caroline: (burp)
Søren: close, but its 'i gotta work it'

caroline: can you please go eat something?
katie:why
caroline: cause i just wanna see you eat.

TO every thing there is a season, and a time to every
purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and
a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to watch I love Lucy for hours and a time to cuddle with your best friend
A time to make girls night videos and a time to say I want you.
A time to go to the zoo and a time to wear "blue" shirts;
A time to hang out at friend's houses' and a time to burn popcorn.
A time to wait for your friend to get to their house and a
time to get mad at all the stores for closing at 9:30 p.m.
because its really cute, especially when you want to go
shopping to pass the time away and a time to be freezing cold outside.
A time to find love songs talking about your best friend
and a time to get repaid with ugly pictures of yourself;
A time for all the stupid idiot boys to like your best
friend and a time to think about all the boys that like you aka none.
Basically there is a time for everything AMEN! -melissa

katie: man. why is it all the idiot stupid boys like me?
melissa: um... lets think about all the boys that have liked me...
well that was fun

katie: we look like bookends!
adam: what am i? a paper weight?
melissa: you are my favorite paper weight!

i'd like to be sick just so i can buy my drugs from there -daddy

katie: lily! if you don't stop, i'm going to take your uterus out right now!
becka: i have to get my wisdome teeth taken out, thats almost as good

yeah, me and becka have been walking around outside for a half hour and wouldn't you know it, all the stores are closed at 9. ISN'T THAT CUTE? -melissa

i have to go chaperone a party that my sister is having, and considering that she has two extra ear piercings and dyed her hair pink and wants a tatoo, i think i better go. -mitch

well thats a butt in the face -adam

katie: i have a picture of him on my phone
melissa: is he naked?

melissa: i wish i had a boyfriend
katie: why?
melissa: so that I could steal his pillow

katie:who are you talking about?
melissa: no one. do you go limp in cold showers?

this is the wire attached to my rack -crabtree

melissa: i like cuddling with you Katie
katie: let's take a picture for the boys
melissa: let's make it juicy

because things fly up, and things are showing, and it's just not pretty -lynne

adam: why am i a jerk?
melissa: because i am cross eyed and mutated
adam: we all have to face our challenges

Dr. Love: eyeing up that loose electron
Adam: I'll wander through the universe & eye up your loose electron.

allen: that's crap
crabtree: that's reality

everything i've ever been taught about standard is crap. Its all a lie. -Brittany

YUP. adams love to get together on weekends and swap electrons. hey katie! what are YOU doing this weekend?

dr. love: what are you doing over there?
adam: sorry
dr. love: are you going to change your oil?
adam: katie, i wasn't about to tell him i was MAKING A FREAKING TROPHY!

please! FOR THE LOVE OF MELISSA CLEAN UP YOUR DOGS POOP! -melissa

can i be a lady for a night? -mitch

MY DOG DOESNT POOP OWLS. -caroline

katie: I hate these drippy drippies on this wall. what is this?
adam: it's brail. it says wall.

i didn't think i'd get through the first 30 years of quantum mechanics in 50 minutes, but i did. -Dr. Love

what are you writing??? the life and times of katiepee? -adam

they look like the different pads each woman would wear.
like look, there is one for an octopus! -adam

fish would no longer arouse him. -manber

you stole my egg! -adam

those boys were young, and they were dressed!
they had their little pants, and their little ties and their little bikes
in fact, i wanna be a missionary
give ME a bike -gladys knight

i had to sit by olga nasty face -steven

allen: i am honest
katie: true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous...
allen:...... i am honest

and these don't make you high
unless
i am high all the time
and don't notice the difference -melissa

its not me, its you.
actually, its your teeth. -steven

why is your knuckle touching me? -michelle

and i was like "thank heaven for christmas" -heather

uh, someone should get a mountain dew and share it with me -steven

no fool, i'm a ballroom dancer -shalayna

i don't know what size this dress is, will you hold my pumpkin? -jennise

adam: you are nothing but dirty change
allen: you aren't good enough to put in anyone's purse

ouch, my boxers are bunchin' -adam

For the last time, stay away from our tire shop with that big stapler -Søren

Honey, that's definitely not in the book -aekldjlakejd

Wow, is that human? I mean, yours? -Søren

Just don't talk religion, politics, jobs… actually, just don't talk. -Mummy

If your going to take my tax, you might as well take all my staples and nails too -mum

katie, if i accidently randomly grab onto you, its cause i'm scared okay? -melissa

i'll give you ten bucks, plus one favor
and no, not like that. -steven

he may think he's top fish now, but he's not. he's a little minnow. -steven

adam: i love cloris!
katie: i want her body
adam: you already have it

one can impart an attractive force to certain materials by rubbing -Dr. Love

i know this is a recroom, but you don't need to wreck it. -rick

i don't like you, i love you -mom

meekness is not weakness. it is the badge of true cristian courage -elder hales

dr. love: in a process called acretion...
adam: in a process called the lord!!!

life is a gift, and i don't intend on wasting it. -jack

he's an idiot (but I love him) -becka

Katiepee and Melissa F. are super heroes. that is why the world goes round. without us, your world would suck. -melissa

katie, you are smart, its just hidden by your cloud of stupidity. -steven

katie: i don't have any friends
melissa: what am i, a duck?
katie: yes
melissa: oh. um. quack. QUACK QUACK QUACK.

adam: you can't quote everything
mitch: Yes we can!

skanks are nasty
sluts are loose
and whores are smart enough to get paid -amanda

here, mitch can have the jack... and the ace... a jackace. -adam

shut up. you look jewish. -mitch

isn't PMS when girls get mad for no reason? -Søren

Katie: can you explain that to me and then say it like, 50 more times?
adam: first you will fall in a bush...
then you will fall in a bush
and then you will trip
and fall in a bush...

and if you don't win the nobel prize, they will at least name a unit after you. -dr. Love

I forgot that my trunk leaks -adam

you know what? spagina has feelings too. -adam

taking pensylvania else where to uh... burn it -dr. Love

whats green, brown, and purple all over?
poo with grape juice on it. -Søren
WOWZA!!!
I LLOOOOOOOVE MY LIFE!
I WANNA MARRY IT!!! -adam

"lord, grant me with the serenity to accept those things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can, and the wisdom to know the difference" -the wise wise adam

what are friends for:
to help there friends not pee their pants -becka

you are going to melt all over the floor like butter. -becka

katiepee genuine draft. Its katiepee style. -greg

do you have problems or WHAT!? -lana

if i had myspace, this picture would be IT. -bradon

don't say didgeridoo around me. it gives me wierd thoughts. -caroline

you can switch with gordon. he has a good station, with the peanuts. -sister sabin

daniel: don't take the word hoe in vain
steven:NEVER take it in vain

my whole life is about the gospel, but i'm still mean. -caroline

let me caress this rusty elbow
i have RLS right now
I have broken butt syndrome now! -caroline

i have more cheerios than you... loser -jennifer

but what if chester the molester comes!? -becky

i don't want to be on the pee tramp! -meg

tell her we would have called but there was no more room in the inn. -becky

mom, do you have a large cement bowl i can have a fire in? -meg

whats a fire breathing dragon?
is that me? -mom

now who doesn't love a cute fuzzy alligator? -becky

katie, i cant do your pinky cause its gonna fall off. -meg

katie: in moderation
meg: is that cheddar?

katie: Søren! don't eat those, they are bad for your pudge pudge!
Søren: yes, but good for the soul.

i thought he was naked for one glorious moment. -caroline

katie: he'll probably come over here and rape you.
meg: thats okay.

i love beer. it just looks so frawthy. i love frawth. -meg

lets move into the torture section. i like that. -brother hillward

i think lucky charms must be good for your digestive system, because i usually have issues, and i must say that was quite an enjoyable experience. -meg

please keep your heads turned around, cause i'm rippin' off the ol' pantalooons. -mom

prodigal air? OH protocol error.-meg

was is the most efficient machine you've ever peed on? -meg

i have such bad language temptings. i just want to say the D word all the time! -meg

caroline: mom, bad language is everywhere. why don't you just put me in bubble wrap and put me in a cupboard.
mom: MAYBE I WILL GOSH DUMMIT!

sometimes i just wanna be like, I LOVE YOU. Do you want to get married and mate? -meg

don't crush my easysprout! -becky

i have the wedgie from hell. its rather large and IT WON'T GO AWAY! -caroline

how does that song go? after having too much wine? -meg

i listened to a tape about a psycho lady with a meat cleaver. now thats freaky. -caroline

katie: hey, how to they mate when the don't even move?
Meg: THATS WHAT CAROLINE JUST ASKED ME!

do you know where liars go? NOT BYU. -kelly

they should make inflatable balls out of dead peoples skin. -meg

you know how you get sick of people when you hang out of them non stop?
we hung out non stop for 15 YEARS -allis

richardcranium
excretement
posteriororpheus
-james dean

then the clouds opened up and god said "I HATE YOU KATIE" -Søren

i'm always on the look out for a lost baby so i can keep it -caroline

i learned that you can only get pregnant when you ovarate -meg

katie: i cant eat that! look its expanding
mom: go ahead, eat it! then you can float around like charlie in the chocolate factory!

don"t count your eggs before you ovulate! -mom

yeah thats so awesome! right kam? i wore my underwear! -patience

caroline: we are going to remove your reason for wearing a loin cloth.
patrick: well you are wearing a loin cloth right now!

relax you double crossing mud muncher! -alfalfa

better to have loved and lost then to never loved at all -mom

wait until she gets HER lisence. we are putting that picture up on OUR myspaces, right katie? -mom

schmellischmin? -mom

katie: i thought you said you were leaving.
mom: i thought you said you were getting off the COMPUTER!

as soon as i have this baby, it is going in time out -becky

i love the smell of farts. they are so comforting -caroline

hold on mom, i'm trying to kill the demon pirate lady! -caroline

i like people that make me like them.
it saves me so much trouble -ms. barry

bundle recovered. ducks in a row, peas in a pod. -caroline

cow, what does that stand for? kind of wierd? -dad

i actually miss Søren's obnoxious advice -caroline

you got to go kill those monsters... with broken hands and a withered soul -caroline

thank goodness for puss. i mean...
where would we be without puss in our lives? -caroline

sometimes i sit down and think to myself "i bet there are millions of americans on the toilet right now just like me!" but then i think "but i bet none of them are doing dance moves on it like i am" -caroline

i bled on the birthday girl! -adam

i look constipated, but thats okay, cause the flowers look cool. -didi

my cousin chews the cow fat -becka

my parents leave for one weekend and everyone gets aids -jennifer

want some? i put too much in my boat. -brittany

what's on you? oh, your hand... -jennifer

you know how it hurts really bad, but it doesnt? -adam

if you are chilly... HERE TAKE MY SWEATER. -didi

i just want a brown one. I don't want one that looks like beef jerky -didi

when i play basket ball, half of the sweat on me is corey's -joey

james didnt always hate his mom...
I always did though... -joey

Becka: i've never kissed anyone
Katie: me neither
Becka: lets kiss!

i woke up and felt like i got hit by a SEMI TRUCK filled with BRICKS and COWS and KATIE PEDERSENS. -adam

katie peedersen IS the party...HEEELLLLOOOOO -adam

Adam:katie....... there's something i gotta tell ya.......
Adam has taken this chat off the record
Adam: no one likes party poopers
This chat is no longer off the record

you look like a lima bean -caroline

you know what i like in a woman?
a good spider smashing book collection. -adam

if ye love me, give me my freaking gun -daniel

no tlc, no ice cream, no reaching sticks, no baggy clothes -lydia

you look like something out of the devil wears prada -gary

you just need a little puppy under your arm and you will be perfect. -jeremy

why does my brain let me thoughts out in public? -allis

if she werent my best friend, i'd probably hate her. -allis

i know that God loves Katelyn, and that he is taking her somewhere. -mom

okay now baby, let me just put my arm around you. oh baby! your are so skinny, stop by me at lunch tomorrow and i'll get some meat on them bones. -big mama

VIVA LA CASA. LETS PARTY IN THE HOUSE - in the house

Kiss anything that moves-Richards

President Bush is looking for weapons of mass destruction… it looks like I found your guns right here –Richards

This has to be the true church, because no other church cries like this –Anna

It was like… a whirl wind in my chest. I was like, that's awesome –kid who gave testimony

If good songs are prayers to God, then other songs must be prayers to someone else –Richards

I need you. I need you on the Lord's team –Richards

I'm just kinda, cutting a rug –Richards

I'm just waiting for the dripples. I call them the dripples. –Richards

She just stirred my Chilli –Richards

This is always a tough one because… I… I am not a woman

There is a flower up her butt –Adam

He just sounded like Elvis –Allis

Do you want to be alive and my friend, or dead and WHO CARES? –Bluth

I want to punish her for hitting her brother, so I kill her and she goes to the celestial kingdom- Bluth

Bluth: I need someone to write on the board
Katie: Adam! You have nice handwriting! Raise your hand!
Bluth: Probably a young woman.
Adam: Shut up

butt pocket.. COME ON -adam

That's okay. I got my arm eaten by an alligator, but at least I have a pink cast. –Finn

Okay, if you have anything good to tell me, you would have told me 5 minutes ago, so I'm going to bed. –Anna

We are about to speak to and with the God of the universe –Harris

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart… lalala… and lean not… lalala… and always use your blinker on the freeway –allison

If Christ had to do the whole thing over again for just one of you, he would do it, because he loves you. – Finn

If he wanted you made differently, he would have. –Finn

I created you, I know what you can do, You CAN make a difference –Finn (on behalf of the Lord)

God wants me to know that he created me how he did for a purpose; and I can make a difference, and he knows and loves me individually – Finn

you wanna piece of meat -caleb

jerks have feelings too. trust me. i know. i'm a jerk -allis

It's the "I need new underwear" kind of fear –Richards

Dear mission president, today I baptized the entire tribe of Judah –Richards

Choose to put everything, literally, EVERYTHING on the altar before him, believing that you are his child –Richards

"wail wail wail" set disc wicket woof, "evanescent ladle rat rotten hut –Richards

Barney is the devil! –Richards

All the wicked people are burned, so you only have good people to date – Richards

We are having too much fun, don't come yet Jesus –Richards

Squeeze your hand fat! –Adam

I do not want the Lord to question whether I am the enemy. –Richards

The PDA make out club – Richards

Kind of fun, a fire breathing prophet, picture brother Holland… RAWR –Richards

The good thing is God has good aim–Richards

Hey! Lets sluff!- Totten

We have lots of wonderful donkeys in our lives, like… our parents can be donkeys. -Totten

When we use our agency, the real blessings come. He won't force his way into our hearts. We have to open up -Totten

you hit my apple with a kiwi! -adam

Chad: that's my roommate!
Tori: He has cute bangs!

The didn't have car wrecks back then. Maybe a camel wreck -Finn

I'm not gonna let gravity act on me. It hurts. BAD -Bluth

Principles of the gospel are anchors of safety – elder Scott

This is a son of God. How dare I do anything to jeopardize his eternal salvation? – Bluth

M-U-R, M-U-R, MURMUR… OKAY! –Bluth

I always obey my grandma –Richards

Farmboy. He's got it going on. –Richards

We'd like to thank miss Betty Crocker for these –Lindsey

Anyone can bless a life –Richards

As much as people are fighting against us, there are people fighting for us on the other side of the veil–Richards

It will take unshakable faith in the Lord to return to him–Richards

However much faith in the lord we have now, we must strengthen it -Eyering

Learning to start early and be steady are the keys to spiritual preparation –Eyering

It's the old roll your eyes, have a seizure technique –Richards

The purpose of life is not to endure storms, but to choose the right through them. – Richards

its kind of... catchy. its so bad, but its SO GOOD. -adam

dang it. i love that kid. she is perfect. how did i go so many years of my life without my katiepee? -mommaelkington

that phone looks like if i used it once, i'd get cancer. -ethan

MARTHA SHUT UP AND LET HER TALK! - caroline

now that i know what it feels like to have BOOOOBS, i guess i know what's REALLY happening in your head!! -adam

and then i started fighting people. i broke like.. three of them! -jennise

chico's poo looks like little tiny grenades -cole

cole: i wonder what katie's body looks like once you take that off?
ben: cole! you made katie's body

its the evil monster george wash! -Ben

remind me to steal your cheesecake more often! -Søren

i guess this is what you get for typing on your thighs!!! -adam

this electronic panel is kind of ruining my life -daddy

katie. are you seirously going to stand there and let your little sister beat you up? you are seventeen and still fight like a little girl. PUT UP YOUR FISTS. -mom

cocky is the word! I CANT FORGET THAT! -mary

he used to have long hair, braces, and not dance good, but now, DANG that boy is fine. -mary

like a good gaylord algona is there! -allis

ok and if you ever repeat what i have just told you i will chop your crick crick off. -meg

my name it lesbot.
i like other womenbots. -daniel

i am amazed at the baked odor of love. -daniel

I COULD HAVE SWORN MY MUFFIN WAS RINGING. -becka

If I have skin cancer, at least I was on comp. -allison

Katie: I can't find my urinary system.
Adam: Here! Use mine!

caroline. thank you for being obedient.
katie, thank you for being consistent. -mom

katie and adam did a beautiful waltz,
and ROCKED their Chachacha -Heather

Okay. You know what Caroline. YOU ARE OUT OF THE WILL

...and Katie, you just keep poppin that little bag of popcorn you've got shakin' back there. -jordan

have you ever eaten your own flesh? I HAVE. -caroline

You are Nehor.
MINUS THE NE. -caroline

i thought i lost you! and then i would be eternally sad because of the death of my sister who i LOVE. -jordan

judges, joshua, esther... SHUT UP I HAVE DYSLEXIA OKAY? -caroline

he would cough poop dust -daniel

we are gonna do moo moo meadows next! -daniel

well. it pays more, plus you get less pimples -daniel

katie: poop stain. call him a poop stain.
adam: okay hang on. let me call him back

he's a bounty hunter.
know how i know?
his shirt said BOUNTY HUNTER BOUNTY HUNTER BOUNTY HUNTER.
-Søren

shaggy never drove the mystery van! he's a LIAR. -Søren

we should turn in all the pens you guys all jacked this year. i bet if we had put tracking devices on them, they would all lead to the ******'s house. -john

girl parts can be ugly when they are apart, but when they are put together right, they look really nice -robin

corey: Armageddon is a place?
john: yeah, Armageddon new jersey!

mom: i wonder what lives up there in that hole in our roof.
Søren: oh. thats joe. he tells me what to do.

oh wow! its part of the act. wait... why are there brains lying on the floor? -mom

Jaimie: man, i havent had butter on toast in like, 3 years.
adam: Me neither. actually, i had some yesterday

no shekles for you babe -corey

nuh uh. you said HEYYYY BABBBBBBE! HOWS IT GOINGGGGG!? -allen

you just take your time in there little adam junior! -adam

piercing kid wants to be a sword swallower -adam

praise the bladder -molly

pee out some poison! -brignall

you either go, or you blow -bio

grandpa, dont ever point at another car ever again. -corey

oh poopity shignits. -becka

just think to yourself "they poop too" -adam

we call him creepy dad -lacey

there is this lady in my ward. she thinks i'm her boyfriend -adam

TURN ON YOU STUPID COMMUNIST TELEVISION!!! -mum

molly: then you lube the food.
18or30yearoldkid: is that before or after mastication?

would you like me to make you some adam? i mean chicken soup. sorry, sometimes i get them mixed up. -adam

oh i am FULL of inappropriateness. -becka

cheryl: JENNA!
jenna: MOM! I WAS SMILNG
cheryl: if that is your smile, it makes me sad

here. i'll grab your wrist, spin you around, and throw you at tyler -devin

mom: Søren! we're leaving!
Søren: wait mom! i gotta tackle him!
mom: okay. 5 minutres to tackle... or if he kills you. whichever comes first

DO YOU WANT TO PLASTIC BAG FIGHT?
its where the loser has to eat a plastic bag -travis

no one falls down in boxing anymore.
unless, they use the stinger.
you dip your gloves in honey, then broken glass.
and THATS the stinger.
and boy does it STING. -travis

i totally just smoked you on the dance floor katie!!! -Søren

looks like I win. -travis

thats why i pray to allah, buddha, gitchygumi... that way, i'm covered! -mom

mom: the worst thing is to be a STUPID pyro
Søren: thats what i am!

would you like some wine to go with that cheese? -mom

can you like... do that in a private place? -caroline

caroline: you look like a toad
Søren: you look like a toadstool
caroline: what the crap?

i want to see if i can fart in one of those. hand it over -Søren

caroline: ew. turkey poop
me: breathe through your nose!
Søren: stick beef jerky up your nose!

thats holy moses. he's a good candle. i just hope ghosts don't come. or lightning from the lord -mom

DONT EVER HAVE A CONVERSATION WITHOUT INCLUDING SPARROW EVER AGAIN. -sparrow baby

matt: so what do you do?
katie: I furnish apartments.
matt: sounds LAME. i'm a lawyer.

me: you cant lift ashley
ben: i could lift both of you with this bamboo pole
me: you can't lift me!
ben: yeah i can, i do it in rumba all the time.
me: girl please. thats all ME. i could be dead weight if i wanted to.
ben: I tried to do it with my sister. She couldn't do it. YOUR AMAZING.
me: oh don't try and butter me up.
ben: if I buttered you up, you would pull a bryce and slip through my fingers

I thought I would be slick and fly peewee through the power lines, but i forgot the string was still attached to me! -mary

when he sings he makes me melt like a popsicle on the fourth of july. -darla

PeeWee! You can do it! I believe in you! -mary

Fly Little Carrot! -eyebrows

i mean look at his face! its SO cute! i just want to kiss it! -mary

his last name should be retarted ugly face. -allen

hmmm, you cant really expect me to just be able to pop something out of my mouth on command, im not really a slogan machine -daniel

do you know what would be totally bomb? Fill up your car with water and drive around with a snorkle on. Wouldnt that be boss? -allis

oh look! a little bird! LETS CRUSH IT. -adam

DAD. WHY DO YOU LEAVE YOUR SNOTTY TISSUES EVERYWHERE? -Søren

so almas works had to be secret... sorta like drug dealing... -kelly

i should probably go upstairs. maybe this wedgie will go away -Søren

happiness is touching your tongue to your nose -adam

You should call me unless you are in the pokey. You should call Adam as your one phone call, or, you know, your parents. Our like... a good lawyer. -allison

man: Um, do you know how fast you were going?
katie: YEAH. dang. i was FLYING.
man: (pulls out badge) yes.. indeed you were. can I see your license and registration?
katie: shoooot dawg
man: shoot dawg is right.

katie, are you my boo? -mum

i shlaughed out shloud!! -allison

i want to build a really cool house and abandon it for like 50 years so people can come take pictures in it -allison

i'm taking off my pants in a public place!! -allison

i saw draco and the malfoys at the library for free, i also saw harry and the potters -allison

yeah... if mickey mouse were heart tissue... -adam

i always get nervous when i hear sirens
not because i think they are coming for me
but i wonder if they are... -allison

well would you like to know? its a pretty good story -allison

thats your tubby, and there is your custard -Søren

mokey butts are in your shoes. repeat. monkey butts are in your shoe -Søren

don't MESS with the dress! -adam

should i complain to you that my wife raped me? -chiabi

what do you do when you are dating? you hold the air in. what do you do when you are married? you let the air out. -chiabi

they look like testicles... and i like that... -a huds.

you can be confident, but at the same time know that you suck -don

the difference was my girl was hot -don

i'm thinking we will meet around 4 or 5. is that enough time for you to get hot? i mean modest... -adam

what are all these naked women here for? -allen

ou... no good... dirty rotten.... pig stealin... brain squirtin... squirrel finding.... gum chewin.... pot smasher!!!!! -adam

KAZTILICIOUS DEFINITION: MAKE THEM BOYS GO LOCO. -adam

i just called my mom a shninkter head. hahahaha she said "SHFINKTER?" i said "no mom, shninkter." she said "i will pretend that you just said 'mom of the year'." -allison

update your quotes, you disease infested leech. -sass

will you tell daniel that he's awesome from Søren? -Søren

my mom is a shninkter head. -a huds.

oh my gosh: angel and jesus are friends! -adam

IS THAT POKEMON!?? -william

i egged my own house because i wanted to see what it was like -william

homework kills trees! stop the madness! -Søren

mom: i dont mean love, like your gonna have babies
katie: no, we ARE gonna have babies
mom: uh... please wait...

she didn't like us already, and you squirting her with sheep brain juice i'm sure was not helpful! -adam

i dont know what it is, but you do it to me all the time -adam

with your brain power, and my manliness, we can take over the world! -adam

you dont get a sheckle for everything you know... -joey

why do i have to sit with the frog on my back? -Søren

molly: whats wrong?
adam: i just snorted
molly: oh i do that all the time...!

corey: and they say guys are immature... katie just laughed at that harder than i did -corey

sister luksan: there will be a time when if someones asks you if you are Mormon and you say yes, they will pull out a gun and shoot you
john: there will be a time when if someones asks you if you are Mormon and you say yes, they will pull out thier wallets and hand you some cash

so junk food contributes to your sort of... messed up nature? -daddy

my water melon has a first name, its W-A-T-E-R -mom

Søren: my favorite drug is pot
mom: pot?
Søren: yes, pot. either that or weed

Louisiana says: i must've space out
adam says: it must be that Louisiana air -adam

katie, put your feet down, and stop spitting at the dog -mom

corey: jake! stop drawing poop on my board
jake: thats not poop; thats my face!

is it something about mashing up puppies with a seeth? -larry

i have Chuck Norris's picture on my wall to keep the monsters away -larry

don't ever forget the fact you are bald -corey

LONG LIVE THE FARMHOUSE! -allis & madi

come to my wedding and don't shave -allis

me: whats that word you just said
allis: sexy?

your best friend hotline... how may i help you? -allison

yesterday i said thats a dick and my mom made me bite a bar of soap
that what reminded me, theres teeth marks in it -allison

you like other male PC's! -allison

my water is a whore -allison

we got jerseys cause we make a good team -allison

i'm a rolls royce!
your a blog! -allison

your never home
i'm all alone
i'm going to hit you over the head with a bone -caroline :(

me:i want to play rock band!
adam: you want to pee your pants?

oh you did not just bestow my angus. -Søren

dear lord: please ignore her prayer -steven

just ignore the low fuel light; this car runs on faith-steven

if you dont have fun at the dance, i will be your sex slave for five hours -daniel

get the clan together and ill jump on it. -brad

what does he want me to do? tie tassles on me and do a dance? -heckabecka

me: hey... i know that guy
melissa: HEY THATS MY DAD. DAD! DAD!!!!

becka... do something cool. -daniel

15 minutes ago we were talking through that thing -adam

i had osgood-schlatter! -adam

see that one right there? it looks like a womans body -adam

mom: i just help her go to sleep at night.
me: do you hit her?
mom: yeah, i just put a little pillow over her face...

if i were a pokemon, i'd be pimpachu...or ballermon -brittany

tyler: i am the ghost with one black eye, give me the juice or you will die!
devin: i am the ghost of maple daple, put the juice back on the table!

did you know that the more time you spend with people you tend to cycle at the same time? -becka

i'm old enough to know better -molly

REQUIRES TAQUILA -molly

heres a sweat gland. arent they cute? -molly

next quarter we are taking classes together. don't feel pressure because i'm just as dumb as you. -melissa

beauty is only skin deep;
especially considering your outermost layer is dead. -molly

hey girlfrannn -brittany

sorry. i get distracted sticking pins in my fingers. -molly

you make me love you too much
and it isn't fair. -allison

caroline: what have you been voted for katie?
Søren (under his breath): most likely to be an idiot.

katie, is tampon, florida a real place? -Søren

mom: its your time of the month isnt it?
me: do you have any chocolate?
mom: yeah, i have two bags reserved for this exact purpose hidden under the matress
me: thanks. i'll bring these back when they are empty

we could totally hustle right now... if we werent in biology -adam

some lovers try positions that they can't handle -molly

doesn't steak sauce go on cow bone smell? -adam

me: so after nationals.. whats next? internationals?
adam: uh... katie, its called the olympics...

what happens at bear world stays at bear world -dallin

people might stare if i took a 12 year old BOY to prom -adam

as soon as i came out the womb my momma knew a child was born -caroline

just because i'm a droid doesn't mean you can push me around like that -Søren

haha, oh come on katie you know me
if you throw me a bone, i will throw you one
and oh the bone i have to throw -daniel

is there someone locked in the closet or something? -allen

"i wouldnt be caught dead dancing dirty" BULLL! BOLOGNA I SAY! -caroline

i hope that i get a boy i can be as crazy about as you are for him -caroline

laffy taffy thinks we have spongy bone so that we can fly :( -adam

deeds of flesh...ahahahah -molly

uh... quick... walk this way... -adam

its strong, yet flexible -molly

adam has the nastiest beastie eyes in the world today. :)... i mean :[. -adam

bryce, where is your dad? oh, there she is.
- mama gailey

why are they called boy scouts? they should be called MAN SCOUTS. - jake

that would be bad. you don't want all your cells exploding -molly

it's very unnatural to look up, because we are always looking down when we bake bread -sheryl

aHAH! this morning i woke up & i had an epiphysis! -molly

so in order for you to even ask that question, you need sodium, magnesium, chloride, and potassium -molly

you are not what you eat, you are what you absorb -molly

....and he walked in, and he was like, "DON'T TELL! PLEASE DON'T TELL!"
and brandon was like, "what!?!? whats wrong?"
and he was like, "i'm not supposed to be eating out of the kitchen!!!"
-sparrow baby

i brought bambi! -allis

kaaatie, kaaaaaatie, you are my mormon prom daaaaatie -adam lee

OH MY GOSH KATIE. DONT SAY THAT IN FRONT OF YOUR MOTHER.- mum

everywhere i go i just feel like cutting open rats -adam

it was you. i KNOW it was you i KNOW it was you -melissa

katelyn: your room is not clean. you are grounded wednesday and thursday. come directly home from school/work. no TV. no computer. no life. ♥ mom

poor carolinepoo. hey, i'm finally a real pedersen. katiepee. carolinepoo. allybutt.-allybutt

my bum cheeks are totally squeezing to the music -caroline

just give me a freaking krispy creme -meg

SPAGINA!-meg

meg- doesnt my mom overreact sometimes? caroline and i- ... meg- please say yes!

she took away my life: my phone, my friends, my right to run away...-meg

ow. it hurts, actually, i feel really awesome -meg

i'll hold her, you yank -caroline

she's pretty. i hate her. -caroline

hey dev, i'm wearing a tampon, cool huh? -meg

caroline- i'm the good child! mom- haha caroline- i can be the devil child if you want me to be mom- i think katie already has that position

i dont want to ride with my mom... i mean the devil -caroline

Katie you are my love we will be together up above you look at me with eyes of a puppy and i know you are my one and only guppy (it's super hard to ryhme things with guppy) -becka

now you are just speaking alien. -nosilla

pull your shirt down pudgey bunny! -caroline

its a people bar! as in may i offer you a people bar, or break me off a piece of that people bar -allis

you see.....i can explain this...... when you rock someone's socks, you REALLY rock their world but when you rock PERIOD, you rock my whole body! -adam

can you hurry up with your problems, cause I really need to use the computer -meg

i really have to use the restroom.. as you can smell.. i mean tell... -Søren

i can usually toot on command.. i dont know whats wrong with me... -caroline

i love lucious. lovely lovely lucious. -meg

rocks could get old.-allison

he doesnt like to tell people what to do he just wants to see your engine blow up -andrea

i would do ANYTHING to get quoted!!!! -adam

protect your nuts! -Søren

Katie:seriously they should be bffs Adam: i think they already are like in a secret mormon mom underground society

i would totally marry melted cheese -daniel

he is dumb as a waterspout, minus the spider, but the weensieness is true -allison

daddy: if i saw general conference on TV, i would totally be like, wow, what church is that? and i'd join. mom: um, honey, that is how you joined.

you said "that looks like it would taste good. but if i drank it i would die but then i'd be resurrected!" -padre

oh my gosh.. i think i feel a wart coming on -allis

i had boobs when i was like... two -caroline

i took these all off of katie's myspace... i wanted to be just like her... oh what a fool i was -caroline

kteerox 14 times -allison

time for a big girl email... its not allisbubbles256 anymore -allis

you are a liar. i won't be a liar, and when i say i'm taking your itunes, i'm not lying -caroline

if everybody didnt already know these existed, i'd use them for blackmail -allison

caroline: who's the most annoying person on your dance team? allison: ******** caroline: oh wait. its you

thats the love of my life.... HE'S SUCH A DORK -allison

the phone rang in class today... and do you know what i did? ABSOLUTELLY NOTHING. -caroline

you're a fooly fool on a fooly piece of dirt. -caroline

i have peed on a hobo, on the ground right in front of me -cj

sit down, shut up, and keep the commandments -daddy

sometimes i too wish that Søren would get hit by a tractor -dad

i hate her. i knew i hated her. i hated her before i even saw her. boy do i hate her...-mom

Katie! what are you doing? we were using that poop for a throw line! -kyle

T.M. Sell is a douche bag... look it up in wikipedia -cj

dad: sometimes i think that my children's goal in life is to drive their mother nuts Søren: he's figured us out

katie: are you just being good cause you have the preisthood Søren: well, yeah, but hey, now i will protect you katie: oh yeah? what would you do if a killer walked in right now? Søren: first i'd take this spoon and gouge out his eyes, then i'd dumb my rice krispies on his head, and then i'd kick him in the you-know-whats, and then i'd give him a blessing

you are always up to something. -allis

he started crying on the tower of terror ride: he said he saw the devil, or something like that -allen

my people: sea glass man manatee man narwhale man starfish man algae man pond scum man seaweed woman lantern fish man eel man old boot man sea horse man

do you always eat it from the bottom up? -janine

have you asked me if my dragon has testicles before? -allison

i was going to miss church... and if you take that privledge away.... -meg

can i wear your necklace? i want to look pretty -ryan

everything rhymes with daniel... like... scandinavia -allison

hello, i'd like to buy 1,000 shares of bob please. -TM

its not good to pollute the lake -MR. Sell

well thats the bomb -TMSELL

TM: a new cell phone, a new computer CJ: a new baseball bat

its not like you get comment points or anything caroline. its not like you can buy stuff with them. -Søren

I wonder if you could sell you pee in a bottle and say like... would you like a cold drink? -my sister

katie: dont you love kcls.org? Becka:psshhh YEAH i'm like married to it

okay we'll just make this our SELECT PBDC sex group -becka

diddly white black mormon daddy? -mom

wow! you were so cute like a puppy when they were younger, and now that you have grown up, you are just a dog. -dr. hertz

i thought you wore it so it would hurt more if you hit daniel in the face -allen

i have all my problems inside -adamlee

When God created woman, she was created with 3 breasts. However, the 3rd, middle breast, kept getting in the way, so God preformed surgery and removed it. Later, the woman came to God, holding the 3rd breast in her hand saying, "What shall we do with the useless boob?" God then created man.

the bowels of the mountain stream -channy

i guess that guy wants you, because you are a girl who gets up early, but you also stay up late. sometimes i wonder if you even sleep at all. -mum

wanna see me tie myself in a knot? -ben

his name is booger can. he takes his boogers and puts them in a can. -cole

come here lamb and let me give you a squish -mother elkington

you can squirt people? can you REALLY? I'M going to squirt people. -allison

can you get your boobs flavored? -allison

do you know whats sadder? there were other buckykatts before buckykatt11 -allis

katie, i need a tooth -ashley

i need someone really bad. are you really bad? -bumper sticker

sometimes you remind me of a koala bear: sometimes you are cute and cuddly and sometimes you're really scary -sassington

lets make people!!!-alli SON

it is indeed the walk of shame. i feel like the people on fear factor that lose. and i keep expecting a camera to roll up in the bushes and ask me how i feel about how i did during today's challenge. then i can get sad music and say "i tried my best, i really did. but i didn't listen last year, and just wouldn't sit out for three short days. i'm still paying for it. but i'll take it easy tonight and give it a shot tomorrow." then i can take off my shirt and they can get an emotional picture of me from behind. with the sun hitting me and everything. -allis (you make life fun)

and that is a hot hot hot picture of you and giggles. that's right, giggles. -sister elkington

i was smitten with great smit. -allis

yayy daddy pedersen! go,fight, win! -sass

that would have been bad if you started bleeding all up in her grill. -allison

well, you are like, 80 percent water. oh, wait. maybe thats the earth. -allen swanson!

katie:Dr. Sell has PMS today adam: he has PMS every day, Katie, its more like EMS (eternal MS)

your squirrel friend is back! -allen

me: CURSES! CURSES ON YOU ON YOUR POSTERITY! mom: um honey, thats you. me: oh. dang.

trust me hon. theres only one man that could satisfy a woman an two minutes...colonel sanders -ma

katiepee and carolinepoo. the very perfect pair. -siss

liar. LIAR! LIES!! -sasss

i have a permanent toot in my butt -caroline

your just a little kid! you dont know anything! -aak

i'm sorry! i'm sorry! stop yelling! i'm sorry! stop yelling at me! -aak

back home, with five dollars, you could have bought enough land to live off of, and enough moonshine to make living worth while -mother

thanks. isn't that just typical of me? -allen

this is...doctor navarro -sassssss

but i had a muffin today, and i really feel like i am what i eat... -erika

i have to help my mommy clean -allen

thank goodness i peed two periods before that class -erika

it just makes sense. boy parts and girl parts fit together -adam

now i will feel like kolipoki? -allen

look at that crazy white boy over there... dang son -swanson

i saw you bench pressing the other day and you were the one that almost broke the bar unlike me who just breaks the bench... i saw you lift it all the way with no help whatsoever you almost threw it through the roof-allen

just call me dr. pheeje -ceeej

at katiepee's? -mother elkington

if it achieves total suckitude for you we'll skip it. Just try it out on the suck-o-meter-T.M

revenge is best served COLD -dr. sell

sometimes you marry a geek and it all turns out okay -dr. sillito

its friday. let us rejoice and sing praises for the blessed day has come. -carolina

Three advantages to being a turtle are -Raeanna

every time you talk bad about someone, a goose walks over your grave and you get goose bumps -allison

today is day one of being average -sass

oh man. i just ran over a rabbit. :-( -danny

at least its sunny. i might have snapped and killed her if it wasnt-sisss

now you can survive -danielito

i want to throw myself at any living boy -allison

i should probably stop jabbing myself in the temples... ouchh -Søren

mom: dont forget! there is a door prize! kelly: oh corey got it already caroline: wait, did you say door prize or dork prize?

katie lee! i mean pee!! aahhhhh!!! -becka

hey! no petting!! jk its ok to pet-cj

we wants your body -cj

ralph: billy calm down billy: NO RALPH. YOU ARE NO LONGER IN CONTROL ralph: yes master! billy: you look delectible... come closer fair maiden ralph: no billy... NO BILLLY billy: shut up you fool ralph: BILLY!!! noo.. sudden silence billy: larfjhejdheauSUCKKKK

save an egg, crack a smile -caroline

my name is lapdance, but you can call me lappy -allikat

what is sudoku? -aak

we will lead the greatest revolutions of adventure -brad

eternal damnation: its the greatest sensation -caroline

i dont understand why you are the princess at our house. when you are happy we are all happy, BUT when you arent, RUN, HIDE, SAVE THE CHILDREN!!! -daddy

where is mister pickle? WHERE IS MISTER PICKLE?-sister luksan

will romney take utah? -joey

sister luksan: the first three commandments are about God john: and the rest don't matter!

why are people throwing skulls at my car? -Søren

i cant hit allison. You two are so mormon. i'd feel like i was hitting God. -brad

let me in by the blood of the king! -allison

katie... your eyebrows kind of look like sperm. i cant focus on anything else. -pd

i'll tell you what. she's even grosser in the light -allison

adam, pay attention. stop distracting katie with your beauty. -TM Sell

you could baptize mee and maybeee save my soullll -allison

um katie, the reason that you dont have cup holders is because your car was invented before fast food. -Søren

fagalicious definition you stole all my chapstick -allison

i think he's on his period -sassy

yesterday i tried bench presssing joseph, and i almost broke him -kelly

the liahona was like text messaging for lehi -corey

Sister Walsh: How are you? Daniel: Kinda Gross. Sister Walsh: you look gross

its EASY. Just open your mouth REAL wide, stick out your tongue, and wiggle it around! -beckamoooooo

spook: What do you want to do? sassy: Have a baby! spooky: Ok.. after that? sass: Feed it chocolate chip cookies!!!

i WANT it SOOOO BAD and with BEN -nelly

you make me HUNGRY!!!! -adam

gooblesnurfendarkle! gooblesnurfendarkle! gooblesnurfendarkle! - caroline

whats that? oh... its just a pigaloo... -meg

what part of a vegetable can you not eat? THE WHEEL CHAIR! -allison elkington

you would have seen the nasty bulletin i posted about you... if i hadn't denied your friend request... pahahaha -matt

i'm caroline, this is my brother Søren, and my sister cruella

marjorie timberwolf! i have a skeleton in my pants because your blue eyes look at me throught the cans of corn -allison

not funny like haha funny like what the crap is wrong with you dad?!?! -sassy

well, i did better than i thought. i thought i'd score a zero. -adam

i got my jollies grinding on teddy bears -daniel

his voice is like chocolate to my ears -maylu

i need to take my oboe to the shop, DARNIT! -becka

i don't have yellow, i have purple, i could be a bruised banana -ashley hudson

peel the banana, CLOSE the banana -beckamoo

katiePEE!! (DONT SAY THAT!!!) -heckabecka

sometimes, i look in the mirror and think: yup, deinfately 8 cows. -ADAMLEE

dont look at my eye, it looks like death - b knucks

if i were you, i'd seriously hurt me right now -adam lee

i got money in the BAAAANK -caroline

i'll be a freshman. NOT a fresh meat!!! -sister

when it comes to being president, i will be the SHIZZ-IT -MR. Sell

i'm going to RIP your trachea out!-MR. Sell

if a boy tries to ask you on a date via text message, tell him to "go pound sand". -elder scott

if we weren't us, I would HATE us -adam

quit babbling skylar -MR. Sell

hell is very sexy, then. very sexy for her.-sasssy

dont give people wearpons who hate you -jennifer

put that thing back where it came from, or so help me! -my bffs danny and allis

thats what SHE said al-sassy and d-kakes

can i quit this family? -al-sasss

no... thats on the other arm... for when i make it past this part -allison

you didnt kick me in the face! you kicked me in the camera -allison

sometimes i think i'm black -allison

is this underwater death mode? -allison

i hardly ever talk to mormon allison. she's soo boring.

im pretty sure that 5 minutes ago, i just popped, locked, and dropped it -cj

i'll be like... hi corey! and she'll turn to me and say... "let me guess you want some gum" -thesis

wow. i'm a liar. i'll look at someones pics and say "wow i love this" when really i want to say PUKUS MUKUS!!! -caroline

boys are like parking spaces: all the good ones are taken and the handicapped ones are the best but nobody can get to them -djoseph

i wanted to be 16, drive, be cute and like a good looking guy. that was the dream.-allison

do you know how it feels to have your own mom want to kill you? oh... actually... katie... i bet you do...well... it isnt very nice -Søren

i can't always be mom all the time!-caroline

thats the last time i'll trust you with my ginger bread house! -mom

how about them apples-Søren

see if you ever have my kids again -caroline

and thats why being married would be awesome -dj

exhibit A-SNICKER SNACKS...exhibit B- m&ms...exhibit C- pretzels -caroline

the doctor said to take deep breaths. it relaxes you. -brother

now your mine. do we have an accord? -sister

STOP AND I WONT SQUEEZE! -caroline

shut up you buck toothed turtle! -caroline

katie get the duct tape.. I HAVE to pee -siblings

sure i'll help you! oh wait. i'm on my lunch break -Søren

look what i got you for christmas... can i borrow 50 bucks?- Søren

you know what. i dont want to kill you ok... thats a lie -sis

i'm an indian war princess. what i say goes -caroline

are you sure you dont have any room in this house? i mean town?- devin

when shepherds go bad-Søren

our donkey is collapsing! -tyler

NO ONE was kung fu fighting because it was christmas!-jenna

we'll take the nativity to this point... unless you want to cover the circumcision-daddy

gold, frankincense and myrrh...and a golf cart-jenna

do you have the nativity script?-devin you mean the BIBLE?-daddy

do you have a piece of hollow wood i can knock on?-devin you can use my head!-Søren

do you have a place i can stay? my wife is going to have a kid. -devin

i am so proud of your quotes section. hahaha. it's blossomed into such a vulumptuous flower of the nile.-admanlee

oh man. i wish i could get my butt fixed, but i dont want the X-ray-sister

Sometimes the little voice in my head wants me to do bad things too-elkington

I'm Kelly..but you can call me "Lion of the Tribe of Juda"

wow katie... someday... your quotes section really will be just sayings from a bunch of dead guys...-fannin

kisspoint?....do you get to use these kiss points for kisses?-allison

gahh. nipple pits. i HATE those.-Søren

a cup of teeea... cooookiiess and yoooooouuuu-buns

its hard for me to face my problems when my problem is your face-hermano

sex isn't a bad word. its a way of life-hermana

lets blow this popsicle stand-meg

boys are like parking lots. all of the good ones are taken and the rest are just handicapped -meg

too much flash.... not enough back -allison elkington

either be nice or be a jerk... but don't be jice... or a nerk -mom

sit long,talk much,laugh often- Doris Edwards

its a leaf...either that or a very large nut- adam lee

Dear Beckster: You are losing your mind, i know because i just vacuumed it up.-madre

I know! Carry her with a fork lift- adamlee

so in this show, one of the boys is studious and the other is mischeivious?-brother walsh

i feel like throwing up -well you shouldnt, because its really not as great as people say -steven && daniel

ahh..patty, sometimes i just want to put her in a hamburger-adman lee

i know what i said about rumba, but i would sell my soul to be in jive.-allison

why is there a black string? that doesn't match!-J-WO

basically my life is ruined. my dreams a shattered...beauty school drop out-brittany nicholls

you are all BACKSTABBERS-testimony meeting

yark. yark. yarkkk-joey

you're my mom-patience

it's a one-way love train pulling in to your station.-allison elkington

i can't get your head out of my mind-erika

you are the thorn in my side... the sliver in my bunion-adam lee

you just have more velumptuous curves-michelle

chickenuggetschickenuggetschickenuggets-jennise & daniel

DEMONSTRATE..THATS THE WORD!!!-marylu

click.....click.....click...click..click.clickclick. clickclickclickclickclick clickclickclickclick.....-the highline crew

i don't believe in pedestrians-brittany nicholls

each village had a male or female stripper-adam lee

um...katie...chicken is meat....-the highline crew

if we were married, i'd probably go all the way with you -shea

HOLD THE ROPE-the efy kids

come on, nana!!!- John Darling

Having fun isn't hard when you've got a library card!-sarah gregg

be nice to nerds, THEY WILL SAVE YOU!-jennifer

when Mount Rainier erupts run down to south center, put on a $20,000 fur coat, strike a pose, and go out with style. - dr. jones

i just wanna grab you and shake you like peppa -daniel walsh

is...that a thermometer? -brittany nicholls

GARBAGE HELLL ON WHEEELS!-brittany nicholls

boat? a sunken-ship-boat!-scatergories

FUSHIA!!! GRRRRRRR!!! hahaha!!-(becka, cat, caroline & myself)

what do YOU throw away...? a appendix perhaps???-caroline

what lives on a farm...a FABBIT????!!!-becka

don't feel special. i call everyone a loser.-beckamoo

if you wanted me to have no fat, i'd have no boobs to please you with.-beckaaaah

i'm pumped! i'm stoked! HECK i'm POKED!!!-adamlee

he's a... well... HE'S A HOTTIE BIM-BODDIE OK!???-malmstrom

last one to the swing is a walking dog biscut-bella

do you know how long three minutes is??? ITS LONG!!! ASK AN EGG!!!-ray

courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all, from now on YOU will be traveling the road between who you think you are and who you will be. The key is to allow yourself to make the journey -King Rupert (may he rest in peace) The princess diaries

Favorite Scripture.

Alma 37: 35-37

"33 ^aPreach unto them repentance, and faith on the Lord Jesus Christ; teach them to humble themselves

and to be ^bmeek and lowly in heart;

teach them to ^cwithstand every ^dtemptation of the devil,

with their faith on the Lord Jesus Christ.

34 Teach them to never be weary of good works,

but to be meek and lowly in heart; for such shall find ^arest to their souls.

35 O, remember, my son, and ^alearn ^bwisdom in thy ^cyouth;

yea, learn in thy youth to keep the commandments of God.

36 Yea, and ^acry unto God for all thy support;

yea, let all thy ^bdoings be unto the Lord,

and whithersoever thou goest let it be in the Lord;

yea, let all thy ^cthoughts be directed unto the Lord;

yea, let the affections of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever.

37 ^aCounsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for ^bgood;

yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep;

and when thou risest in the ^cmorning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God;

and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day."